#368 - 'The Corner Hotel Rooftop'

Where - 57 Swan St. Richmond

Price - $24

Website - https://cornerhotel.com

Reviewers – Lee, Matt, Nick, Sakkun, Cynd

I said at the start of our last review that Richmond’s Corner Hotel needed no introduction, and over 6 years later I stand by that statement.

If you haven’t heard of the Corner you must have been living under a rock (or somewhere outside of Melbourne, maybe Adelaide?). It’s one of our cities most prolific live music venues, and if anything its reputation has only grown in the 6 years since we first ventured to Swan Street for a review

Although I am distancing this review from our first visit a little for reasons that will become apparent later. This time around we walked into the building, took a hard right and went straight up to the rooftop, which in the fabled words of Princess Jasmine is a whole new world from what lies below…

As far as rooftop bars go, the Corner Rooftop is spectacular. Heaps of space, a tonne of tables & chairs and options for both covered areas or spots out in the sun depending on the weather/how sunburnt you want to wake up the following day. Without hyperbole I’d call it one of the best rooftop bars in Melbourne.

So, other than our usual Thursday-night-parma-night, this week’s outing took place last Saturday arvo. It was a 30+ degree day so, while we started the day under the sun it quickly became apparent that we would be burnt to a crisp if we stayed out much longer, so we retreated into the undercover area with air conditioning, in front of the bar and adjacent to the kitchen.

By about 1 o’clock the rooftop was starting to get busy, so we checked the menu and spied our target for the day…

Despite the menu description spending an inordinate amount of time itemising the items in the salad and not really mentioning the parma at all, we placed our orders at the bar and waited for our meals to arrive.

The tap list upstairs was relatively fine. 4 Pines, Mountain Goat Steam Ale, Brookvale Union Ginger Beer, Bulmers, Frothy, Melbourne Bitter & Carlton Draught were all on offer. On the way in I noticed that there was Stone & Wood on tap in the downstairs bar, but not upstairs, would have loved to see that one migrate upstairs also.

Just shy of six years earlier (to the day! Sorry I keep bringing that up but I find that coincidence uncanny), the Corner Hotel parma looked like this…

Good god that was a lot of coleslaw!

About 15 minutes after ordering the parmas arrived…

It looked fine on the plate so I picked up the cutlery and tucked in. This is where things went downhill.

First up the schnitzel was cold. The toppings were warm-ish, but the schnitzel itself was stone cold. The schnitty was big enough, it used real chicken, hammered a little bit thinner than I would normally like but real chicken none the less.

The crumbs on the bottom of the parma, however, were mush. completely waterlogged and soggy, all the moisture had been sucked from the schnitzel and absorbed into the crumbs, leaving the chicken completely dry and the crumbs without any semblance of crunch like a wet sponge. With real chicken at its core this had the chance to be a great schnitzel, but due to reasons we would discover shortly, this was a case of extremely squandered potential.

The toppings were also in a pretty sad state. Any napoli that might have been on the parma had been absorbed/evaporated away. What looked like it was once a good coverage and golden brown grill of cheese had separated into an oily, greasy, unpalatable mess.

The ham held up relatively well compared to the other toppings. It had quite a bit of flavour and if it weren’t for the off-putting taste of the cheese might have actually helped elevate this parma quite a bit.

It’s not often that I don’t finish a parma, but I got halfway through this one and couldn’t take any more. As far as the parma goes this one was bordering on inedible for me.

As opposed to the parma the chips were pretty good. Decent serving, well cooked and seasoned, served to the side of the parma and super crunchy. After not being able to finish the parma I was glad to have a decent side of chips to satiate my hunger.

After making such a fuss over the ingredients of the salad on the menu you would think they would make sure we received everything that was listed. Unfortunately the “Bitter leaves with shaved red onion and vinaigrette” was just bitter leaves with some vinaigrette and oil, no onion to be found (some of the other plates had a sliver to two) and overall unenjoyable. Even though there was an unholy amount of it I much preferred the coleslaw we received back in 2013 to 2019’s “bitter leaf” salad.

I hoped it was just me, but the thoughts from the others in the group show that it wasn’t just an isolated incident…

“Parma was thin with extra soggy crumbs, but at least it was real chicken. It wasn’t helped by having powdered cheese and SPC spaghetti sauce instead of napoli. “Salad” was literally a pile of vinegar soaked leaves, which gets a +1 for menu honesty but -10 for being a pile of leaves. The chips were well seasoned & crunchy”

— Nick

“The crumbing was like garden sand and the ham had the consistency of old paint. The leaves tasted fake, and the chips like rubber. By all accounts and evidence I’m lead to believe this was made in a Bunnings workshop, not a kitchen.”

— Sakkun

Normally this is about where we would throw in our napkins, score our meal and walk away. But like I said we weren't at the Corner Rooftop on a usual Thursday night, we were in for a Saturday Arvo sesh, and we settled in for a few post-parma drinks on the lovely rooftop.

As we had moved inside due to the heat our table was situated in such a way that we could see into the kitchen, it afforded us a view into the parma creation process at the Corner and it was about this time things started to make sense - From where we were sitting we could see a tray of pre-cooked parmas (not just pre-cooked schnitzels, pre cooked parmas) with toppings on, just sitting on the bench.

I watched them for 10 minutes, I watched them for 20 minutes, I watched them for 30 minutes, I watched them for 40 minutes.

Then I watched an order for two parmas come through and then, while I watched on with horror, saw the 40 minute old parmas get plated up without being reheated at all (besides a few moments under the heat lamps while they waited to be collected) and the order go out.

Now my cold schnitzel was starting to make sense, as were the soggy crumbs, nonexistent napoli sauce and separated cheese. Shortly after that tray of parmas was finished a new batch of 5 parmas appeared on the bench and the cycle began anew. The Corner Rooftop’s system seems to be to cook 5 parmas at a time and let them sit until an order comes through.

I’m sure the first parma off the tray would have been great. The elements used had the potential to produce a fantastic parma but it was all squandered due to pre-preparation in the interest of saving time, however I wouldn’t have this parma again due to what we experienced.

$24 for this parma is too expensive, that’s pretty high when it comes to a parma and for that price I’d expect my meal to be made to order. They do offer a $20 parma and pot night on Wednesdays alongside trivia, but even then I’d hesitate (although if anything the parma night parmas would probably be better as the turnover would be much higher).

Now you see why I tried to distance the kitchen on the Corner Rooftop from The Corner Downstairs, I’m not 100% sure, but it would make sense if there was a second kitchen Downstairs - Making parmas upstairs and then ferrying them downstairs doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, and Upstairs seemed busy enough without worrying about Downstairs’ orders as well, so fingers crossed that the ones downstairs are better.

Even McDonalds stopped pre-making their burgers years ago. I have heard of pubs pre-cooking their schnitzels and topping/grilling them to order - Not the best practice but I’d prefer that to fully topped & cooked parmas left to just sit there.

Side note - One member of our group ordered the Chicken Tenders from the kids menu in lieu of a parma and was equally displeased, the “tenders” consisting of a sliced up schnitzel, just as dry and unpleasant as the one our parma was built on.

The Corner is a live music institution. It is one of the best bars, best venues and best rooftop pubs I have been to in my life, which is why it absolutely shatters me to review them so poorly. I want this place to serve up a good meal, and if they knock off this pre-preparation garbage I think they have the potential to. Until then, though, I’d give it a miss.

Parma - 2.80

Chips - 6.80

Salad - 2.60

Value - 2.40

Total - 3.48

The search continues...

#367 - 'The Yorkshire Hotel'

Where - 48 Hoddle St. Abbotsford

Price - $24

Website - https://www.theyorkshirehotel.com.au

Reviewers – Lee & Nikki

The Yorkshire Hotel (or the Yorkshire Stingo Hotel, or just “The Stingo” depending on who you ask) has been on our list for quite a while, and to be honest I’m floored that it has taken us nearly 9 years to get to it. Recommended to us multiple times it just kept getting pushed down the ladder (and for a while there I could’ve sworn we already visited). However its time has come, and last night we ventured to Hoddle Street to try out the parma at the Yorkshire Hotel.

A stone’s throw from the MCG this would be a great pub to pop into before the footy (especially if you are a Collingwood supporter as there is Pies merch everywhere). The Stingo manages to retain its old-world corner pub vibe so close to the CBD.

I have seen the Stingo claim to have “Abbotsford’s best beer garden”, and if it weren’t for the fantastic beer garden just opened at the nearby Park Hotel I would have to agree with them… But it’s still pretty damn good. Open and spacious with a pool table, TAB machine and a selection of arcade games (Time Crisis II, Street Fighter, Big Buck Hunter and NBA Jam), it reminded me of one of one of The Great Northern, one of my favourite Melbourne beer gardens.

We ordered at the bar, for the first time this year we weren’t parma-ing in oppressive summer heat so it was a perfect night to make use of the aforementioned beer garden. We pulled up a seat and waited for our meals to arrive.

The tap list at the Stingo surprised me. Got the full gamut here, at the time of writing this review we had (deep breath) Pirate Life IPA, Carlton Draught, Collingwood Draught, Coldstream Golden Ale, Coldstream Cider, Pirate Life Pale, Young Henry’s Newtowner, McCrackens Amber Ale, 4 Pines Summer Ale, Great Northern, Melbourne Bitter and Frothy… Phew. Long story short I’m pretty sure anyone could find a drop they like in that extremely varied tap list.

After a 15-20 minute wait our meals were delivered…

I’m not normally one to complain about parmas stacked on chips. My official position is that 95% of the time it doesn’t bother me, and in the case a parma arrives stacked on the chips any parma pro worth their salt can de-stack before any damage is done (and in the long run I’d rather have more chips stacked than less chips because the plate is too small). However the plate the Stingo used was quite large with a heap of empty space. The chips were rescued before any damage was done, but it boggles my mind that they went the stack with so much extra space that could have been utilised. No points deducted for this or anything as it doesn’t bother me that much, just an observation.

The schnitzel was pretty great quality. Well cooked and juicy. The crumbs were a little thick for my liking but not criminally so. Despite being on a large plate and possibly looking a little small in the photos it was big enough that I didn’t walk away hungry in the slightest. Overall a solid foundation to the parma.

The toppings were quality all round. Plenty of cheese, plenty of napoli and they went the extra step and included a slice of ham. The cheese was well browned and the napoli sauce rich and chunky. I appreciate the inclusion of ham but couldn’t really taste it amongst the other toppings. Something with a bit more oomph would have really brought this parma to life.

As far as chips go these were pretty spot on. A pretty massive serving, well seasoned, served piping hot with a solid crunch, and the offer of tomato sauce or Sriracha on arrival was greatly appreciated.

The salad was … controversial. On its surface it was your standard garden salad. Lettuce, tomato, cucumber and plenty of onion, just how I like it. However the Stingo has decided to also load it with what appears to be pickled fennel? (the yellow stuff you can see in the above photo). It had such a strong flavour that it totally overrode all of the flavours in the salad (and even a bit of the parma). If you like fennel then you’ll probably love this. I was not a fan and would be happier to see it stricken from both the Stingo’s parma and the planet Earth in its entirety.

I’d happily pay $24 for this parma again. It’s a little bit pricey, but I was happy enough with what I received that I’d order it again without question. If you feel like a bargain the Stingo parma is $10 cheaper on Monday night, definitely worth checking out if you’re a local.

Local pubs in the inner suburbs are becoming a rarity, so it’s fantastic to see the Yorkshire still going strong. Its a quaint little pub with an old school vibe and a stellar beer garden that I’d happily drink away the afternoon in. Despite a couple of missteps the parma is overall quite good and definitely worth checking out if you’re in the area.

Parma - 7.60

Chips - 7.00

Salad - 5.00

Value - 7.00

Total -  6.96

The search continues...

#366 - 'Central Club Hotel'

Where - 246 Victoria St. North Melbourne

Price - $20 ($15 Parma & Pot on Tuesdays)

Website - https://centralclubhotel.com.au

Reviewers –Lee & Nikki

During the latter half of last year after watching one too many episodes of Hot Ones on YouTube, I decided to try my hand at making hot sauce. The first batch was a bit of a dumpster fire, but chalk it up to a learning experience. The second batch was much better but still a bit mild (mostly habaneros and jalapeños, nothing crazy hot just yet) . So for the third batch I wanted to go hot... proper hot. I wanted to use some of the hottest chilis known to man, Carolina Reapers.

So during the December break I hopped on a tram and headed in to the Queen Victoria Market. After a bit of browsing I found one stall with what I was after… Reapers aplenty. I grabbed a bagful and was headed home when the Central Club Hotel caught my eye. It looked like it had some work done.

A bit of history - I have wanted to try the Central Club for a while, it looked like a bit of a dive but that has never stopped us in the past, some of our best parmas have been in divey pubs - However pre-renovations the kitchen for the Central Club was only open for lunch and not for dinner, which made it super hard to get out and do a review as 95% of our reviews take place on Thursday after work.

So with a bag of reapers in hand I poked my head into the Central Club. It was a new pub! Completely refitted with a focus on craft beer and tap takeovers. I grabbed a pint and checked the menu, even though the kitchen is now being run by Burgerlove they still made room for a parma on the “Classics” section of the menu. I made a mental note that we needed to check them out ASAP in the new year … which I promptly forgot about until receiving a tweet from a reader reminding me to do so, and last night that is exactly what we did.

Cold beers and lethally hot chilis. A good combination?

We arrived back at the Central Club just after 7 on Thursday and were surprised to find the pub already quite busy. I’m gonna chalk it up to a lot of punters wanting to escape the oppressive heat hitting Melbourne this week, but we almost struggled to find a free table in the front bar when we arrived (luckily we managed to secure one in prime position in front of the aircon when we did)

We grabbed the menu and found our target for the night -

Sounds good to me! A quick trip to the bar to place our order and back to the table to await the arrival of our meal.

The tap list at the Central Club is a thing of beauty. I hesitate to list any beers here as it appears they rotate through taps with great frequency, I’ll just pull this paragraph from their website which should tell you everything you need to know -

“Each month we will be showcasing a different independent craft brewery each month and allowing them to Take-Over our entire pub. As well as giving them as much wall space as they need to brand the sh*t out of the place, we’re giving them 8 out of our 12 taps to pour their entire range for a month.”

— centralclubhotel.com.au

The Central Club touts itself as “North Melbourne’s Best Craft Beer Venue”. Big if true, and to be honest I can’t think of any off the top of my head that would compete. Definitely worth checking out if you enjoy a beer or two.

After about 20 minutes our parmas arrived from the kitchen…

First up, under that mountain of cheese I can assure you that there actually is a schnitzel. I was pleasantly surprised to find real, unprocessed chicken breast.

A little thin in spots and slightly dry, but overall a quality piece of chicken used in the base. The crumbing was super crunchy, maybe slightly overcooked but otherwise fine. a decent foundation for the parma.

I want to say “this parma was all about the cheese” due to the overwhelming avalanche of cheese floated on top, however the napoli sauce was also quite tasty in the Central Club parma as well. Unlike last week’s parma at Kicks which was also insanely cheesy, the Club’s parma had enough napoli that it wasn’t lost in the shuffle. Perhaps slightly heavy handed on the tomato paste, but overall added a great rich flavour to the dish.

The ham was visible but its flavour was all but lost amongst the cheese and napoli. I appreciate that it was there, however it didn’t add much to the dish for me.

I can already hear the complaints of “The parma is on the chips! FAIL!” flooding this review, but to be honest the serving of chips was so damn huge I don’t know where else they could have put them. Massively large portion, well seasoned, my only complaint would be that they were served a little bit cold, but other than that a top notch side to the parma.

The salad was probably the weakest of the three elements on the plate. It was a big serve but felt like a bit of an afterthought. It was fine, but the lettuce was quite wilted and it didn’t bring a whole lot to the party. To be honest I’d prefer it if they swapped out the garden salad for a creamy coleslaw, that would have complimented the parma insanely well.

“Nothing flash but enjoyable for a down to earth parma. Better than last week!”

— Nikki

The parma at the Central Club was fine for what it was, and I think it is priced appropriately. Its a no-frills parma at a no frills price and if you walk in with that mindset I think you’ll be happy with what you get. I’d be happy to shell out another $20 for this one, and their $15 parma & pot night is a fantastic deal if you can get down on a Tuesday.

I enjoyed our trip to the Central Club. Despite renovating into a craft beer focussed pub it has managed to retain its character. Its a welcoming, friendly pub with a great range of beers and a solid feed. It definitely could use some work, but the foundations of a great meal are there. Worth a crack if you’re in the area (especially on a Tuesday) but I wouldn’t go out of my way for it.

Oh, and that third batch of hot sauce turned out great. New business venture? ParmaBlaze™ Hot Sauce coming soon… Maybe

Parma - 7.00

Chips - 7.50 

Salad - 5.75

Value - 7.00

Total - 6.85

The search continues...

#365 - 'Kicks'

Where - 1/450 Elizabeth St. Melbourne

Price - $21.90 original, $22.90 novelty

Website - https://www.kicksmelbourne.com.au

Reviewers – Lee & Nikki

We’re back! The 2018 Golden Chook awards have been distributed (Check them out here if you missed it) and we are geared up to kick off another year in the search for the perfect parma. Incidentally this review marks the 365th parma review we have done at ParmaDaze, meaning we have reviewed enough parmas to be the equivalent to one per day for an entire year. What have I done with my life.

When a pub pops up touting itself as “Melbourne’s finest sports bar” you’d better believe we are gonna take notice, so when we heard about Kicks, up the Queen Vic end of Elizabeth Street, we made sure to make checking it out a priority.

Situated on the second floor above an EzyMart, the large screen TV’s and multiple bars of Kicks are easy to spot from the street below. We arrived at about 7:30 on a Thursday afternoon, were greeted at the door by two bouncers (a bit overkill if you ask me) and ascended the stairs to Kicks.

The vibe of Kicks is a hard one to pin down, it’s kind of a sports bar, but not really. Yes there are TV’s on almost every surface showing a plethora of sports games, but with the pool table, foosball table and three tabletop arcade cabinets it feels considerably more nerdy than your standard sports bar. The best way I can describe it is if The Sporting Globe and GG EZ had a baby, that baby would be Kicks.

With plenty of options for seating (the terrace, the high tables, the pool area, the arcade booths and the large dining area around the back) we pulled up a chair in prime position in front of the bar and checked the menu.

I wasn’t expecting novelty parmas on the menu at Kicks so seeing a parma section on the menu threw me for a moment, unfortunately after a month away everyone on the team was craving a standard parma so we didn’t get a chance to try the novelties this time around. We placed our order at the bar and watched a bit of tennis while waiting for the arrival of our dinner.

The tap list at Kicks is … Okay, with the massive copper tanks of Carlton Draught looming precariously above our seats they also had Furphy, Four Pines, Pirate Life, Mountain Goat and Fat Yak to name a few of the other options. Die hard craft-heads may be disappointed, but the should be enough of a choice to satisfy most needs.

About 20 minutes after ordering the parmas arrived at the table. The chips and salad looked great on the plate, but more on them later. The exposed schnitzel peeking out from under the cheese worried me though, it looked pretty overcooked and those were deli window schnitzel crumbs if I’d ever seen them. With great trepidation we picked up our cutlery and tucked in.

As suspected the schnitzel was not great, overcooked and dry as expected with super thin chicken throughout (see cross section below). As much as the toppings tried to save it the schnitzel (a lynch pin of any parma) was the weakest element of the dish.

If you like cheese then this is a parma for you. Flavoursome, gooey, well cooked cheese did its best to rescue this parma from mediocrity. The ham was there but didn’t add a whole lot to the flavour profile while the napoli sauce was barely detectable, both by the eye or by the tastebuds. As far as the parma goes this one was a pretty disappointing outing for the first of 2019.

The chips, on the other hand, were fantastic. Served in a seperate basket away from the underside of the parma, they were plentiful, cooked to perfection and lightly dusted with a spicy seasoning. Every table was adorned with a bottle of tomato sauce so chip dippage was readily available if required (although to be honest I ate most of them sauce free, they were well seasoned enough without it).

The garden salad was another winner. Fresh and crisp with plenty of ingredients and loaded with honey mustard dressing. If you’re after a healthy salad to accompany your parma then this definitely isn’t it, however if you’re after a palate cleanser and a suitably unhealthy side to an already unhealthy meal then this is a pretty good example of one.

“Quality sides let down by a disappointing schnitzel. A nicer piece of chicken and this could have been great!”

— Nikki

For $21.90 I won’t be running back to Kicks to try this parma again. Monday night offers a parma (of any variety) with a pot for $16, which, to be honest, is a pretty good deal and probably about what this parma is worth and I think the only scenario I would recommend this parma.

When it comes to novelty toppings on a parma I always say that they have to be able to do the standard parmas well first, and then pile the other stuff on. If you can’t do an original parma successfully then don’t stack extra stuff on as a way to hide it, it’s a crutch.

I enjoyed the vibe at Kicks. The tabletop arcades were a neat touch, especially with the screens above mirroring the gameplay below so onlookers could observe the game. It’s the kind’ve pub I could see leaning into eSports as well as traditional sports when the Overwatch League fires up again.

As for the parma it has potential. The sides are great, the toppings are mostly fine, it just all falls apart when you use a crap piece of chicken as the base. Check it out on Monday night and get the novelty toppings to cover up its failings, otherwise I’d say give this one a miss.

Parma - 5.25

Chips - 8.50

Salad - 7.50

Value - 5.80

Total - 6.46

The search continues...

#364 - 'Naughtons Hotel'

Where - 43 Royal Parade, Parkville

Price - $25

Website - http://www.naughtonshotel.com.au

Reviewers – Lee & Stefo

After a very redo-heavy year I’ve come to a decision - We officially retiring the Redux at ParmaDaze.

For clarity, we aren’t gonna stop revisiting pubs we have done in the past, but after reviewing parmas for nearly nine years we are going to be revisiting more and more pubs to the point where marking them specifically as redo’s is becoming an increasingly moot point, and keeping track of what actually qualifies as a redo is getting harder and harder to keep track of (Does it have the same owners? Has the name of the pub changed? Did the original owners change the name of the pub?).

Don’t get me wrong, if we visit a pub that we have already visited in the past I’ll definitely mention it in the body of the review and there will no doubt be comparisons made between the first and subsequent visits, but titling a revisit review as a “Redux” is now a thing of the past (and lets face it, calling a redo a “Redux” was always a bit of a wank to begin with).

Anyway. On to the review!

We first visited Naughtons in January of 2013, back when it was going by Naughton’s Parkville Hotel, and to be honest it was a pretty great parma! Not perfect by any stretch but I always held it in high regards as one of the better parmas in the area.

Then recently I found out that Naughtons had undergone a bit of a change. Basically gutted inside and reopened only weeks ago with a new vibe, a new fit out and (most importantly) a new menu. The rennos looked outstanding and I was curious to see if the parma had also undergone a change, so we loaded up the parma bus (for the last time in 2018, I might add) and headed to Parkville.

The sun was shining this particular Thursday so we opted for an al fresco table out the front of the pub. Grabbed a menu and checked our target for the night…

I was amazed at how busy Naughtons was for a Thursday evening. It wasn’t even 7pm yet at the joint was heaving. The new fit out looks fantastic. The left hand side of the pub has a strong bistro/restaurant feel while the right hand is a bit more casual. A mix of booths, high and low tables leading out the back to a beer garden style spot (although not open roofed).

We placed our order at the bar and grabbed a couple of beers.

The tap list at Naughtons impressed me. Mountain Goat Gose, a couple of taps running Wolf of the Willows, Venom Golden Ale and Brunswick Bitter to name just a couple, along with a massive fridge beside the bar with a large range of craft beers available (it seemed) for both dine in and take away

The parmas came out quickly, no more than 15 minutes after ordering our meals arrived at the table. Lets first have a look at the 2013 Naughton’s parma before diving into its 2018 counterpart.

Naughtons Parma 2013

Naughtons Parma 2018

I know we’re all thinking it - The schnitzel looks a bit small. And I’m not gonna lie, it was. Everyone at the review cleared their plate with ease so if you’re looking for a massive feed this might not be the parma for you.

However, I cannot fault Naughtons parma on quality. The schnitzel, while a little small was a perfectly crumbed, amazingly crunchy, cooked to perfection pure white piece of chicken breast. Other than its size I honestly can’t fault the schnitzel.

The toppings were also pretty great. The napoli was rich and thick and the cheese blend was flavoursome. I normally stand by the claim that a parma doesn’t need ham to be good, however the parma at Naughtons was begging for a slice of ham to really elevate it. Some smoked pork off the bone would have brought this parma to the next level. It was pretty damn good, but it has the potential to be great.

The chips were crunchy, well seasoned, served hot and in a neat little silver cup. A decent serving that was only missing a bit of dipping sauce to be great. Excellent work.

Last week’s visit to the Albion Rooftop was a prime example of putting as little effort as possible into a salad. This week at Naughtons was the polar opposite. The coleslaw accompanying our parma was great. Fresh and crisp, super light on the mayo, plenty of onion and the surprising addition of currants and slivered almonds. Absolutely fantastic and served as an outstanding side to the dish.

“It had the makings of a good parma, that’s for sure. Nice chips, crisp fresh sides and a juicy well crumbed chicken breast. A bit more polish and flavour along with some better value in terms of size and this would be right up there”

— Stefo

Value is a tough one this week. Yes it was small and it didn’t have any ham however the ingredients that were on the plate were top notch. I guess it depends on what you are after when you head out for a feed - Quality or quantity? I’d happily pay $25 for this parma again as I greatly enjoyed it but don’t expect to walk away stuffed for your money. Monday night is “All Counter Meals for $20” night so I’d definitely recommend hitting it then if you are in the area.

I really enjoyed our trip to the new and improved Naughtons. The pub has a friendly, inviting vibe, all the staff were great and the food is fantastic quality. If the parma was 50% bigger and threw on some smoked ham I reckon we’d be looking at a top ten contender, as it stands now its a super enjoyable, expertly crafted parma that you won’t walk away from disappointed. Check it out.

Parma - 6.75

Chips - 7.5

Salad - 9.5

Value - 6.00

Total - 7.30

And with that we close out ParmaDaze for 2018. The Parma of the Year and Best New Parma trophies have been ordered and we will present them to the winning pubs sometime before the end of the year, and will post the 2018 wrap up shortly after that so keep an eye out. Thanks for being with us for another year and I look forward to discovering some more awesome parmas through 2019 and beyond!

The search continues...

#363 - 'The Albion'

Where - 172 York St. South Melbourne

Price - $26

Website - https://thealbion.bar

Reviewers – Lee, Nikki & Stefo

Its a bit of a weird sentence, but we’ve now been to a few Albion’s in our time. First there was the Hotel Albion in Port Melbourne (which we returned to for the Man Vs. Parma Challenge) as well as the Albion in North Melbourne - All fine examples of a parma, but just in case having a Hotel Albion and an Albion Hotel in the same city wasn’t confusing enough, South Melbourne is now home to The Albion (Which I’ll refer to as the Albion Rooftop, for the sake of everyone’s mental health).

Situated directly across the road from the South Melbourne Market, the more seasoned drinkers amongst us may remember the building as “Motel”, a Melbourne nightclub that tore it up in the late nineties/early noughties, and while The Albion Rooftop is still a nightclub when the sun goes down, there is still a cheeky lunch and dinner menu available for when things are a little quieter.

When the pub first opened (last year some time I believe? There were some delays after a fire during construction) I checked the menu and there was no parma in sight, it seemed like they were going for a more “gastro” vibe and the parma had gotten the flick. Well luckily they have come to their senses, as it was recently brought to our attention that a parma had finally been added to the Albion Rooftop’s menu.

I like parmas, I like drinking in high places, seems like somewhere to check out!

For the Collingwood supporters out there this is the pub owned in part by former player Dane Swan, and rumour has it he, and a few other AFL footballers, like to stop in for a pint every now and then - Unfortunately there weren’t any out for a beer while we reviewed the parma last night.

We ascended the stairs up to the rooftop, grabbed a seat in the relatively-busy-for-a-Thursday-night pub and checked the menu…

It’s a bit hard to pin down the vibe that the Albion Rooftop is going for. It feels a lot like a nightclub, but not quite (I think its the booths pictured above that don’t feel very “clubby” to me). It’s not quite a gastropub, but definitely not a quiet local and even though there are TV’s playing sports I wouldn’t call it a sports bar. It’s an enigmatic spot that I have trouble getting a read on if I enjoy it or not. The views are nice, though, can’t fault that.

As far as tap beers go its hard to miss the massive copper tanks of unpasteurised Carlton Draught looming over the bar, other than that there’s Great Northern, Pure Blonde, 4 Pines, Wild Yak, Stella Artois, Bonamy’s Cider, Brookvale Union Ginger Beer and, oddly enough, Lexington Hill Espresso Martinis. Not the greatest selection to be honest and for a pub with a fitout as nice as The Albion Rooftop has, I would have expected a bit more variety of beers on tap. There are some more options in bottle (4 Pines, Stone & Wood, Budweiser to name a couple) but not a whole lot.

After a wait of about 20 minutes, our parmas arrived at the table…

First thing’s first, the schnitzel wasn’t fantastic. A relatively small piece of rather dense chicken with crumbing that screams “processed schnitzel”. It was cooked okay, a little dry and slightly burnt on the edges but no hellworthy sins here. The chicken breast was white and thick enough even though the crumbing joined it in the slightly-too-thick territory. Not winning any awards, but an acceptable foundation.

The toppings were a bit underwhelming overall. The cheese was fine, could have used a bit more coverage as there were a lot of nude spots. The slice of ham was mostly undetectable, as was the Napoli sauce, which had mostly absorbed into the crumbs by the time the parma was served.

Let me be clear, there was nothing wrong with the parma at the Albion Rooftop, all of the elements were there, cooked well and there was nothing too offensive about the dish ... There was just no love there. 

I love a chunky chip, and the chips (sliced potato chunks?) that accompanied the Albion Rooftop’s parma was no exception. When chips get as big as they are here they always run the risk of getting a bit starchy and claggy, but these managed to be big while remaining fluffy and light on the inside, and the pot of sauce included on the side was a nice touch. My only complaint is that there weren’t nearly enough of them, I could’ve had another full serving and been extremely happy.

The salad was weak - It reminded me of the packaged salad you’d buy in a bag from Coles just dumped on the place with minimal effort. The dressing tasted watered down and flavourless. It was fresh, but added nothing to the dish. A nice coleslaw would have suited this parma much  better.

“It was all okay but overall felt a bit slapdash. The chips were good though!”

— Nikki

“For a venue that is trying to do something for everyone this parma was underwhelming. It didn’t feel like any effort was put into this thing at all. 6 chips on my plate and a salad you would expect to see in a Maccas burger. Don’t bother. ”

— Stefo

The Albion Rooftop’s parma is a sports bar parma at a gastropub price. $26 is just too much for what we received. I may be coming off a little bit harsh, it was fine , but this is a $20 parma at best. No parma nights on the menu that I’m aware of at this stage.

This feels like a parma that was put on the menu out of obligation, as they didn’t want to do a parma but enough people asked for one that they caved and slapped this together. All of the other food coming out of the kitchen looked like it had a bit of love put into it, yet the parma reeks of low effort, something slapped together to keep the masses happy.

As much as I have trouble putting my finger on the vibe of the Albion Rooftop I did enjoy the scenery, its an expertly crafted pub that I’d be happy to while away an afternoon in. I think they’ve got the ability to make a great parma, but are just choosing to phone it in at the moment, which is a shame as its a pretty cool spot.

Parma - 5.83

Chips - 7.17

Salad - 3.33

Value - 4.83

Total -  5.40

The search continues...

#362 - 'Saint Charlie'

Where - 386 Brunswick St. Fitzroy

Price - $22

Website - http://www.saintcharlie.com.au

Reviewers – Lee & Nikki

A few weeks shy of exactly a year ago, we closed out 2017 with a review of the Brunswick Street Cider House. In what could be seen as either nothing more than a coincidence or a massive kiss of death, The Cider House closed pretty much the week after our review went up, only to be reborn in January as Saint Charlie. A new pub with a new parma. As its (almost) been a year since our first visit we decided to take a trip down Brunswick Street and see how the new establishment is faring.

To my surprise they have done their best to breathe a bit of originality into the building. As much as I enjoyed the Cider House the main floor always felt a bit barren. It needed an injection of personality and that is exactly what Saint Charlies has provided. Funky booths, projector screens, a range of board games and indie art strewn across the walls really injects a bit of character into the place.

However you aren’t reading “GeneralVibeDaze”, you’re reading ParmaDaze, so we pulled up a seat and checked the menu for the evenings target…

Sorted. We placed our order at the bar with the super friendly and chatty bar staff, grabbed a pint and waited by the window looking out over the ever interesting Brunswick Street for our meals to arrive, and about 20 minutes later they did.

But! before we get to the parmas, first lets talk about the second most important thing a pub sells - The beers. (Yeah thats right I said it. Second most important. Fight me). Good news on that front! Not a massive range by any stretch but definitely enough to keep any palate satisfied. Running the full gamut from Carlton and Coopers all the way to Stockade, Prancing Pony and Doss Blockos with a few ciders thrown in for good measure. The taps rotate so I wouldn’t take anything listed above as gospel, however I doubt you’d arrive and not find anything to quench your thirst.

So yeah, anyway … Parmas.

The first thing that struck me when I saw this parma was that the schnitzel seemed a little small. Not small small, but a little less bulk than we would normally see. Not a huge issue, my wife is always reassuring me that size isn’t everything, so we picked up the cutlery and tucked on.

Holy balls this thing was hot. Steaming hot. To the point that I opted to eat the salad and chips first and let the parma cool a little. You know what? As I ate the parma and chips first let’s do things a little differently and talk about them first as well.

If the parma was a little small they definitely made up for it with the mammoth serving of beer battered fries. Also served piping hot (not as hot as the parma). Super crunchy on the outside and well cooked on the inside. If I had to pick a fault I’d say they could have used a bit more seasoning, maybe a dipping sauce on the side, But otherwise they were a solid serving of chips.

The salad was unique to say the very least. at my count we had lettuce, tomato, sliced capsicum, cucumber, shredded celery sticks and coriander leaves strewn throughout. I appreciated the celery and capsicum - not ingredients we see very often in a parma salad. I could do without the coriander though, such an invasive flavour. It could have used a little more dressing to really tie it all together. Some elements worked and some didn't, but Saint Charlie gets an A for effort for their salad.

Okay. The parma has cooled down a bit now, let’s tuck in.

As I said the schnitzel was still damn hot, but at an edible temperature now. It was pure, white chicken breast, expertly crumbed and cooked (there was a slight herb mix through the crumbs that I appreciated). The crumbs could have been crunchier, they were a bit soggy and fell away from the bottom of the schnitzel - Although I concede that could have been my fault for letting it sit and cool a little bit.

The cheese blend and ham were flavourful and great additions to the dish, the napoli was mostly lost, I would have liked a lot more so I could really detect its presence however the small amount we received left it mostly unnoticed (and it did have a bit of spice to it when tasted on its own, it just didn’t quite push hard enough).

“The chips and salad were good and I mostly enjoyed the parma, just wish it had had a little bit more napoli sauce ”

— Nikki

I think $22 is an appropriate price for this parma. Not overly cheap but not taking the piss either. As far as I can tell there aren’t any parma night specials on the books at Saint Charlie so it looks like its locked at $22.

Its not without its faults, but overall I enjoyed the Saint Charlie parma. It does enough different to stand out while not being boastful. If I were in the area I’d have it again but I probably wouldn’t go out of my way for it. A fine meal in a cool bar. Worth a visit.

Parma - 6.58

Chips - 7.5

Salad - 6.50

Value - 7.25

Total - 6.93

The search continues...

#361 - 'Moonee Valley Legends: Redux'

Where - Wilson & Thomas St. Moonee Ponds

Price - $23 in bistro, $25 in the cafe

Website - https://www.thevalley.com.au/clubs/mv-legends

Reviewers – Lee & Nikki

I’ve had horses on the brain this week. With the Spring Carnival everywhere you turn in Melbourne it has gotten me thinking about parmas we’ve done in relation to this time of year, and one that keeps popping up in my head is our review of the Legends bistro at Moonee Valley racecourse.

In this redo heavy few months we’ve been having I have been putting a lot of emphasis on pubs that I think got a bit of a raw deal in the past, giving the pubs that scored poorly on the ladder a chance at redemption. Our review of The Valley is kind’ve the opposite. We first reviewed it back in 2011, and due to an insane anomaly in our scoring system (the parma was crap, but the unlimited salad bar, awesome chips and super cheap price tag) meant that it somehow scored unusually well for what was in fact a pretty average parma. “We’ve got to have faith in the system” I used to tell myself, however whenever I would look at the ladder and see it in our top 20 I would wince a little. You don’t belong there, Legends Bistro - I even made an edit to the review in 2015 after a particularly angry email that it probably isn’t as good as it seems, and to approach with caution.

Well synergy is the name of the game in online content these days, so while trying to come up with a Spring Carnival related review idea it struck me. It’s been 7 years since our first visit to the Valley, It’s time to go back and see how much things have changed.

Here’s a tip. If you want to visit The Valley without a booking on a race day… Maybe don’t? We turned up on the evening of Oaks Day with the mindset of “Oh Oaks is at Flemington… No way it will be busy at the Valley!”.

We couldn’t have been more wrong. The place was absolutely pumping. The bistro was packed so we moved through to the Cafe, which had an insanely loud live band and was also pumping. Struggling for a table we pushed through to the TAB, a much quieter alternative and slight respite to the cover band blasting a version of Daryl Braithwaite’s “Horses” at an ear splitting level of decibels.

As we were in the “Cafe” and not the “Bistro” the price of the parma jumped from $23 to $25. Usually the price drops when you move to a sports bar from the restaurant section of a pub, the price jumping is a little unheard of. Either way we placed our order and waited for our buzzers to buzz so we could collect our meals.

Tap list at the Valley is as basic as it gets. If you want anything fancier than a “Frothy” you’re out of luck. Carlton Draught / Victoria Bitter / Carlton Premium Dry / Cascade Premium Light / Great Northern, with some Fat Yaks in the fridge.

Considering how insanely busy the place was, our food was ready surprisingly quickly.

As is tradition with Redo’s, lets compare the 2011 Legends parma with its 2018 counterpart…

Moonee Valley parma circa 2011

Moonee Valley parma circa 2018

A complete transformation! This parma is totally different to its 2018 counterpart. First up the schnitzel was pan fried with super crunchy (not insanely thick, our biggest criticism of it in 2018) crumbs. We got our parmas straight from the grill, the chef literally tonged them onto the plate as I went to the bar to collect them, so it was served piping hot. Slightly overcooked as the chicken was a little dry, but overall schnitzel quality was infinitely better than what we had in 2011.

The toppings were okay. Nothing struck me as super home made but as far as sports bar parmas go there wasn’t a lot to complain about. There was a lot of tasty cheese in the cheese blend which I always enjoy, however the ham and napoli tasted as if they had come straight from a packet/can. Not terrible, but not screaming $25 worth of quality.

I make no secrets of my automatic bias toward shoestring fries. The fries on the 2011 Valley parma were so good that they literally contributed to the breakdown of our scoring system. As far as shoestrings go these ones were acceptable. Could have used a bit of seasoning or dipping sauce, but they were served hot and not underneath the parma, so points for trying at the very least.

I stuck my head into the Bistro on the way out and it seems that the unlimited salad bar that garnered a near perfect score in 2011 is a thing of the past. The salad that accompanied our parma last night was fresh and crisp. It was a little smaller than we would normally like but a seperate serving bowl is always appreciated. Standard garden salad. Nothing to complain about but nothing to write home about either.

“The parma was fine however the sheet of paper they served it on is a silly idea. Constantly tearing while trying to cut the parma I ate more paper than I left on the plate. Get rid of it! ”

— Nikki

$25 for what we were served is a bit pricey, this is a $20-$22 parma at best, especially in a sports bar with no table service and self-serve cutlery. There were posters up around the bar advertising a $17 parma & pot night on Wednesdays - To be honest that sounds like the perfect price point for this parma.

In a weird turn of events the parma at the Valley is better than what it was in 2011, however with the loss of a salad bar, increase in price and switch to shoestring fries the final score much more accurately represents the quality of the parma. It had no business being in our top 20 for as long as it was and now I feel like an ancient injustice has finally been righted. Tonight I’ll sleep better than I have in the past 7 years.

Worth a visit on parma night, don’t make the same mistake we did and avoid on race days.

Parma - 6.25

Chips - 6.43

Salad - 6.50

Value - 6.25

Total - 6.34

The search continues...

#360 - 'Urban Alley Brewery'

Where - Star Circus, Docklands

Price - $26

Website - https://urbanalley.com.au

Reviewers – Lee, Nikki & Stefo

Occasionally we pick pubs for pretty selfish reasons, and this week’s was about as selfish as they come. I had heard that the folks behind Holey Moley had opened a video arcade/bar in the Docklands, and in researching the arcade I noticed that a new pub had just opened right next to it. I wanted to visit the arcade, I always want to visit a pub … End of story!

Located directly in front of the box office for the Melbourne Star Observation Wheel, It wasn’t until we arrived that I realised that we have actually visited this pub before - Back in 2015 when it was known as the Harbour Town Hotel. Just when I think we’re done with redo’s for a while we unwittingly get sucked back in!

As its a pub with a new name/ownership team I’m not gonna treat it as a regular redo and harp back on what it was like when it was the Harbour Town, if you want to read the full story click on the link above to go to the full review, but the TLDR is that it wasn’t very good. Horrible quality, a giant chicken nugget with parma toppings - Literally anything that Urban Alley puts on a plate will be an improvement on Harbour Town … I hope.

Urban Alley is impressively huge, their website states that it can hold 690 people and I’d be inclined to agree. I don’t quite know if it’s size works for it or against it though, as it’d take an impressive crowd to even start making this mammoth pub feel somewhat busy. When we arrived it was 7ish on a Thursday and there were about five or six tables of people scattered around - in any other pub this would feel relatively busy, however with how insanely big Urban Alley is it still felt pretty quiet.

We grabbed one of the many open tables and checked the menu…

Looks good! We started the meal with an entree serve of cheese and garlic bread (pretty tasty!) then ordered our main event at the bar.

As expected, the tap list at Urban Alley Brewery is a selection of Urban Alley beers, none of which I had the pleasure of enjoying before last night’s review.

If UA beers aren’t your thing they also have some guest beers on tap, at the time of review they had 4 Pines, Pirate Life, Pressman’s Cider and Brookvale Ginger Beer in addition to the beers listed above.

As far as the beers go I went for a pint of the Urban Ale. As the description above suggests it was crisp and clean, super easy drinking - a sessionable beer you could stay on all night.

Reviewer Stefo went for something a little fancier with a pint of the “Blush”, and to be honest I had a bit of beer envy. Bursting with fruity flavour, definitely the tastier of the two.

After a 15 minute wait our parmas arrived at the table…

When the parma first hit the table we were all impressed. It looked great. Massive bit of chicken, heaps of toppings with the rare appearence of shredded ham, plenty of chips, salad and even a steak knife thrown in so you know its gonna be a hearty meal.

Then we started eating it, quietly at first as we were all starving, then after a few mouthful the opinions starting coming out … It’s just so bland.

Schnitzel quality was fine, it was a big schnitzel, bordering on overcooked but okay overall. A heap of toppings, but nothing had much of a flavour profile at all - I was really looking forward to the thick cut shredded ham, but even isolating a bit and eating it on its own it was hard to taste.

No doubts the parma was big. If you’re after a massive feed and don’t care too much about flavour then this may be fine for you!

The chips were the highlight of the dish. A massive pile of beer battered, perfectly cooked chunky chips. Extraordinarily crunchy on the outside and soft pillowy potato inside, if they had’ve been at all seasoned when they hit the table they’d be on track for a perfect score. Damn good.

The salad was a disappointment. Lettuce and tomato with a dressing that had an almost seafood flavour. It was hard to pin down, but wasn’t pleasant.

“I thought it was going to be amazing as it looked delicious on the plate, but there was just no flavour in it. The chips were fresh, crispy and this parmas saving grace”

— Nikki

“Like the rest of the Docklands this parma fails to impress. A real shame because the beers are good and I feel having a brewery in this location could really work - But when the kitchen is producing flavourless rubbish like this there is no point bothering”

— Stefo

As far as I’m aware Urban Alley doesn’t have any cheap parma nights on the books as yet. They do have a happy hour every weekday (5-7pm, $5 pots $10 pints) which isn’t a bad deal, but no bargains on food that I am aware of.

The Urban Alley parma reminds me of the Docklands itself. Very pretty to look at with the outside appearance of a lot going on, but nothing much under the surface when you dig deeper. It’s better than it was when it was Harbour Town Hotel, no doubt, but there’s nothing driving me back to have this parma again. The beers were super enjoyable, the pub is probably one of the most inviting establishments I’ve ever been to in the Docklands, but the parma (other than the chips) was a bit of a let down. We walked out full, but not satisfied.

Parma - 5.33

Chips - 8.17

Salad - 2.67

Value - 5.83

Total - 5.47

The search continues...

#359 - 'Browns Corner Hotel: Redux'

Where - 502 Sydney Rd. Coburg

Price - $23 in the bistro, Thursday parma night (6 varieties from $13)

Website - http://www.brownscornerhotel.com.au

Reviewers – Lee, Nikki & Stefo

When we first reviewed Browns back in 2013 we walked away unhappy. To quote the write up for that visit is was a “bland, dry, expensive, lukewarm mess”. It rated as one of the worst we had ever done and languished near the bottom of our ladder for quite some time - However after some closures and redo’s of the parmas that sat lower than Browns it somehow found itself dead last, with the unpleasant distinction of the worst rated parma on our ladder.

I was flicking through some old reviews recently and came across Browns. Yes it was bad, I stand by our initial assessment, however was it bad enough to be the worst parma on our list? A pang of guilt hit my stomach and I resolved that we should check it out again. Surely something has changed in the 5 years since our first review… Right?

So last night we headed to the corner of Bell Street and Sydney Road in Coburg to once again check out Browns Corner Hotel.

Interior of Browns is pretty much the same as before, although this time we gravitated to the bar instead of the bistro. Things were gearing up for Thursday night trivia so it was a much livelier and more inviting atmosphere in the bar than the completely dead bistro.

The parma on the bistro menu (what we had in 2013) is as follows -

Pretty much the same as last time, only with a $1 hike in price.

Little did I know until we had arrived, Thursday night has now become Thursday Parma night at Browns…

Choices to make! We checked out the range of specials on offer, Reviewers Stefo and Nikki decided to be boring and stick to the Classic, while I was feeling a little more adventurous and opted for the Italian. I was curious if the addition of a few different toppings justified a five dollar price hike, But I' guess we’ll see.

There are 12 taps in the Browns bar, with Carlton Draught, Dry, Pure Blonde, Stella, 4 Pines, Wild Yak, Bulmers, Frothy, Whale Ale, Great Northern and VB. The craft fans may go a little wanting at this one, although I did spy a stubby of Stone & Wood in the fridge.

As is tradition with re-reviews, let’s have a look at our 2013 experience at Browns before moving on to last night’s parma…

2013 Browns Corner Hotel Parma

2018 Classic parma

2018 Italian parma

Hmmm. At first place that crumbing looked pretty supermarket-deli-window processed to me, however once we tucked in it wasn’t so bad. It was dry, but big enough and seemingly real chicken - The processed looking crumbs didn’t do them any favours though.

From order to food arrival it only took about 10-15 minutes for the parmas to come out. They were piping hot and seemingly popular as pretty much everyone around that was packed in for trivia was having a parma as well.

The toppings were fine. There was a fair bit of nudity, which I can normally excuse if the schnitzel itself it top tier, however this one didn’t quite have the strength to make it without the toppings helping it along.

I enjoyed the italian toppings, they definitely weren’t tight with the olives or salami. The bolognaise was a little bit dry (as was the napoli, the others around the table would report). To be honest I’d be fine if they dropped the bol all together on the Italian, the olives and salami are such strong flavours that it gets lost amongst them anyway, and switching back to standard napoli might help drop the $5 difference between classic and Italian.

Once rescued from underneath the parma the chips were great. Beer battered, hot and crispy. I wanted more of them as the serving was a little small, and some dipping sauce would have been nice, but otherwise these were great.

The salad was pretty much an afterthought. The ingredients were crisp but other than that there wasn’t a whole lot of love put into the side. It was fine … That’s about it.

“Good value for parma night. Solid chips but the parma was a tad dry and the salad was nothing to write home about”

— Stefo

“Improved on last time, but there was a lot of nude schnitzel and it really needed some more napoli. Chips were good though! ”

— Nikki

On Thursday parma night with the spectacle of trivia around you the parma at Browns is acceptable for the price. I don’t think the Italian toppings were worth a whole $5 more, but at the same time I’d recommend getting one of the novelty toppings over the classic, the variety really helped to elevate a less-than-great schnitzel.

In the end I’m glad we went back to Browns. It was by no means the best parma we’ve ever had but it definitely doesn’t deserve to be on the bottom of our list. I’d recommend it if you’re after a cheap feed with fun trivia on a Thursday night, but probably not at full price.

Parma - 5.33

Chips - 7.00

Salad - 4.17

Value - 7.00

Total - 5.77

The search continues...

#358 - 'The Cheeky Pint'

Where - 231 Barkly St. Footscray

Price - $25

Website - No website that I can find - Facebook & Instagram

Reviewers – Lee & Nikki

I first heard about the Cheeky Pint when this Reddit post popped up a few months ago. From there I kept an eye on their social media, checking in every now and then to see how things were progressing.

On Grand Final weekend they opened their doors, from what I could see the place looked great inside, yet I was still to see a menu - Until last week when they finally posted their (admittedly low resolution) menu on their facebook page, confirming my hopes that they would have a parma on the menu. From then we wasted no time loading up the Parma Bus and heading to visit Footscray newcomer, The Cheeky Pint.

Within the bones of the Barkly Hotel, the owners have done an outstanding job breathing life into the old pub.

It’s a skinny pub, the area in front of the bar (pictured above) extends through to a small dining area to the side and a street-side beer garden out to the adjoining lane. It’s not the biggest spot, but spacious enough. Kicking off parmas early this week we arrived at around 6pm to a relatively empty pub and had our pick of the tables. We grabbed one and took a look at the menu…

Aside from a few craft options on tap, the Cheeky Pint is also a brewpub, with mammoth copper tanks behind the bar tantalising patrons with their own brews. Rather than describe myself I’ll let the menu description walk you through the beers available…

Hot damn I want to try them all. It’s also worth noting that the Cheeky Pint is Growler friendly, so, like me, you can come armed with a growler and take home a serve of your favourite, so the party doesn’t need to end when you leave the pub. As far as the craft options I mentioned earlier it was nice to see the likes of Boatrocker, Two Birds and Kaiju on the guest taps, and I also was amazed to see three hand pumps behind the bar, each with craft beer options of their own.

I honestly could’t decide, so wound up springing $20 for the tasting paddle…

As far as paddles go this was one of the more generous ones I’ve had. I’ve had much more expensive paddles in my time with much smaller glasses. And they were good beers! The Perfect Change pale ale was definitely a favourite.

About 20 minutes after ordering and working our way through our paddles, our parmas arrived…

As soon as the mammoth boards hit the table I knew we were in for something special. The schnitzel was plump, the crumbs cooked to crispy perfection while the thick white chicken breast inside was extraordinarily juicy.

The massive boards meant not one element had to be stacked on the other - I know I’m going to get complaints from the meals-served-on-chopping-board haters, and I agree a plate is always a preferable option, but it was great having so much room to manoeuvre. Every element on the board had its own space, plenty of room to breathe.

The toppings were also outstanding. The abundance of fresh, chunky napoli reminded me a lot of our current 1st place holder The Birmingham. Cannot fault it.

On first glance the cheese looked a little light for my tastes, but on eating it I found it super flavoursome, perfectly gooey with great coverage and just the right amount of stretch.

The sliced ham was definitely appreciated, however I felt it could use a bit of a punch up. There was plenty of it, but its flavour was a little lost amongst the other elements of the dish, in a perfect world I would have liked the ham a bit smokier, really make its presence known.

I can already see the comments about the chips. “You only got 7 chips?!”. I thought the same when I first saw the board, but the chunky, spicy wedges were quite thick all around, it was more like eating potato quarters than eating chips. Seven was more than enough as I struggled to finish everything on the plate, and the dollop of mustard aioli served on the side was a triumph, a burst of flavour that worked great as both a chip dip and something to add a little bit more zing to the parma.

The salad is the only part of the dish I wasn’t a wrap for. It was fine, but compared to the other outstanding elements on the board it just didn’t stand up. The lettuce looked a little wilted and I wasn’t a huge fan of the dressing - somehow sour and salty at the same time. The sourness did work well as a bit of a palate cleanser, but it was definitely the weakest element on the plate.

“Loved the parma. Loved the wedges. Loved the beers! Wasn’t a fan of the salty salad, but otherwise an amazing meal.”

— Nikki

For $25 I wouldn’t hesitate returning to the Cheeky Pint for a parma. This is a top tier pub feed using high quality ingredients and I’d have no qualms shelling out another $25 any day of the week.

On the way out I got a growler full of Perfect Change Pale ale for the road and we headed home absolutely stuffed. My criticisms of the Cheeky Pint parma are minor to say the least. All in all this is a phenomenal bird that I urge you to get over to Footscray and try, or at the very least stop in for a cheeky pint on the way past.

Parma - 9.50

Chips - 8.95

Salad -6.50

Value - 8.00

Total - 8.49

The search continues...

Crossing the Road #6 - 'Smokin' Joe's'

Where - 11 Stores around Victoria.

Price - Varies, see review for details

Website - http://www.smokinjoespizza.com.au

Reviewers - Lee & Nikki

Is it just me or has the Smokin’ Joe’s franchise sprung up overnight?. I spotted one in Essendon and another in Keilor before doing a bit of research online and discovering they have 11 stores dotted around Victoria alone. Where did they come from?!

Not to be confused with Smoken’ Joe’s, the now closed Essendon institution that we reviewed back in 2012, So many Smokin’ Joe’s storefronts popping up seemingly out of nowhere definitely piqued my interest. We haven’t done a Crossing the Road since June so this week we put the parma bus in park, chucked on some trackie dacks, chilled on the couch and let the parmas come to us.

For the newcomers, our Crossing the Road reviews are a chance to try the parmas in Victoria that you can only get via take-away. There are a lot of delivery parmas in Melbourne, however a good delivery parma is an elusive beast, and Crossing the Road is a chance to find a diamond in the rough.

The Zomato page for Smokin’ Joe’s Keilor is a divisive place. The reviews on the front page are either 5 stars or 1 star, with no shades of grey in-between (along with a very angry patron who has made it his mission to leave abusive, racist replies to almost every review).

Positive or negative, people have strong feelings about Smokin’ Joe’s, so Thursday night, beer in hand and feet up on the coffee table I fired up the laptop to place our order.

Things get a little bit interesting here. On both the menu page and the Online Ordering section of the Smokin’ Joe’s website, the price of the parma is listed at $24.90…

However when I open up Uber Eats I get a different price…

That’s an eight dollar difference. An eight dollar difference that doesn’t even include Uber Eat’s $5 delivery fee.

To make things even more interesting I checked Menulog…

$29.90 on Menulog, however you only get a choice between chips or salad for that price, not both.

How can the price for the same dish vary so wildly between 3 websites? Well I did a bit of research (and by “research” I mean “had a whinge about it to some mates”) and it came to my attention that Uber Eats takes a 30% commission on all orders, while Menulog takes a 15% commission. 30% of 24.90 is $7.50 and 15% is around $3.70. It looks like Smokin’ Joes are upping their prices to cover the delivery service commission. I can see why they’re doing it, but it’s a little bit annoying.

I’d rather save my eight dollars than flush it down the dunny, so I placed the order through the Smokin’ Joe’s website (with a $6 delivery fee, if you’re curious)

I placed the order at 6:05 and the order receipt predicted that my parma would be delivered at 6:50, and I’ll be damned if my parma didn’t arrive at 6:50pm on the dot

Firstly, it was presented very well! The large cardboard serving tray worked a lot better than the foil tray deals that a lot of parma take-aways use. I normally insist on plating up my delivery parmas when they arrive however the box used by Smokin’ Joe’s worked a treat. Plenty of room for both the parma and chips with minimal stacking required.

Now on to the schnitzel. At first glance this looked like a super plump, fresh chicken breast - and while this was mostly correct the schnitzel used in the Smokin’ Joe’s parma was quite heavily crumbed, a move not really necessary as the chicken was thick enough as it is, they didn’t need to inflate it with a heavy crumb.

The continuing problem with delivery parmas has struck again with this one - It just wasn’t hot enough. I can’t put this on the restaurant too much as its a good 15 minute drive from Keilor to my joint, but both the parma and the chips suffered from arriving not quite as hot as we like it.

Toppings were mostly fine. The ham was super smokey and thick cut - Reminded me a lot of a shaved Christmas ham (and the season is upon us! I saw tree’s for sale at Target yesterday). The cheese blend was fine with decent coverage, however this parma was super lacking in the napoli sauce department. most of it had dried out by the time it arrived and there was probably only a 2 square inch section of the parma that I’d consider appropriately sauced.

If the chips had’ve been hot they would have been a triumph. Super thick, a massive serving and well seasoned with chicken salt. Super tasty, just a little dry and not quite as hot as I’d like after the trip from Keilor.

As far as garden salads go I couldn’t ask for much more in a side salad. I’m a sucker for onion, which you can see by the picture below this parma had in spades. It was fresh, crisp and full of flavour. Quite tasty.

I didn’t walk away from this one hungry and the ingredients used in this parma were of acceptable quality - I’d be happy paying another $24 for this parma. However, if I had’ve paid the Uber Eats price of $32.90 I would have been much less forgiving. If you can order this one through the website directly I’d be say it’s worth a try.

Of the 6 Crossing the Road review’s we’ve done I think I’ve ended 4 of them with “It was good … but it was cold”. I guess it’s just something I’ve got to accept that parmas just don’t travel well.

As for the Smokin’ Joe’s parma? I think I’m gonna go against the extreme opinions shown on their Zomato page and say it was alright. We don’t score Crossing the Road reviews but if I were to review this one on Zomato I would probably give it a 3 out of 5 stars … Good, but with room for improvement.

If you live close enough to a Smokin’ Joe’s that you can pick it up yourself to ensure it’s nice and hot then I’d say give this one a go, but I wouldn’t be too disappointed if you were outside of their delivery zone.

The search continues...

#357 - 'The Dan O'Connell Hotel: Redux'

Where - 225 Canning St. Carlton

Price - $22 for Chicken, $20 for Eggplant

Website - https://www.thedan.com.au

Reviewers – Adam T, Cale, Fridge, Lee, Nikki & Stefo

It was quite a while ago that we first visited the Dan O’Connell. The original review has a rare photo of the review team in action and I can’t believe how young we all look. It was 2010 when that photo was taken and our visit to the Dan was our 16th review. My memory of the parma is a bit fuzzy (as fuzzy as the photo of it that was posted in the review). I remember that we had a fantastic night, splitting the large review team into two and battling it out at the Dan’s Wednesday trivia night, however my recollection of the parma was that it wasn’t great. Thin, processed, an all around cheap, low quality job.

I always loved the Dan O’Connell, their yearly Saint Patrick’s Day parties in the neighbouring park were a highlight of my youth, so when I heard that the lads behind the fantastic Catfish and Northern Git had taken over my interest was certainly piqued, so we loaded up the parma bus and headed back to the Dan O’Connell Hotel.

It’s been a while, but St. Paddy’s at The Dan was once the highlight of my year.

The Interior of the Dan hasn’t changed a whole lot from what I remember, it’s still the poorly lit, slightly dank, cosy bar that I had grown to love. From the open fireplace to the stack of well worn board games by the door its a pub that I’d love to term a “backstreets local” if it wasn’t sitting on Alexandra Parade, arguably the busiest street in Melbourne’s North.

We grabbed a table and checked the menu…

We’ve yet to do an eggplant parma on ParmaDaze but I will make note of it in case we get a vegetarian reader. Also, mentioning eggplant in the text and not just the image means I’ll be able to do a search for it if someone asks me for a recommendation for an eggplant parma in the future. Eggplant.

(side note: Nobody got the eggplant, we all went with chicken)

Possibly the biggest change at the Dan O’Connell is what’s going on behind the bar. Gone are your standard CUB or Lion taps and in their place is a wondrous selection of craft beers. Keep an eye on their Now Tapped listing for more up to date details as I feel like anything I list will be out of date by the time I hit “publish”, but I was super impressed by the selection (The Citray Sour by La Sirène was a personal favourite.

About 25 minutes after ordering our parmas arrived from the kitchen. As is tradition with revisits, lets compare the 2010 parma to its 2018 counterpart…

The 2010 Dan O’Connell Parma

The 2018 Dan O’Connell Parma

Right out of the gate its a massive improvement on the 2010 parma. The schnitzel was insanely plump. Perfectly cooked, super juicy and a top quality chicken breast. in 2010 we questioned if we had received a store bought deli-window schnitzel, well those worries were out the window the second we cut into this beast.

It’s been a few weeks since we had a parma served as piping hot as this one, super fresh and flavoursome with a perfectly crunchy crumb. Yes, it was served directly on the chips, which required a bit of plate-fu to quickly re arrange things before the chips got too soggy under such a steaming hot parma, but we managed to get everything out of the way before too much damage was done.

As far as toppings go the napoli sauce was the star. Fresh and light, not nearly as tomato-pastey as we would expect on our parmas. The smoked ham added some complexity and, even though the cheese could have used an extra 30 seconds or so under the grill, had great coverage, nice and sharp with plenty of stretch.

Also, I’m not sure if it was in the napoli or throughout the crumbs, but the Dan’s parma had quite a unique savoury flavour. We discussed it around the table and the closest thing we could compare it to is the herbs they use in the stuffing of charcoal roasted chickens. It was subtle, but it was there. Quite unique and enjoyable.

I’m struggling to find a critique of this parma. It was pretty much spot on. An amazing improvement.

The chips that arrived with the parma were … fine. They were well cooked and plenty of them, but they were a little boring. Could have used some more seasoning, the offer for tomato sauce on the side when the parmas were delivered was greatly appreciated.

The salad was fresh and crisp. A garden salad with some shredded cabbage thrown in for good measure. It was very strong on lemon juice, giving it a strong citrus punch that worked well as a palate cleanser, however was a little too much by the time we got through it all.

“The Parma itself was delicious, had a nice garlic hit through the crumbs. The chips were ok. Good price for what it was.”

— Cale

“A very flavoursome parma with decent tasting sides as well. The chips required rescuing from under the bird which is not everyone’s cup of tea. To be honest I don’t remember the last parma we ate here but I’d say this is a vast improvement.”

— Stefo

“I really enjoyed the Parma at Dan’s. I had trouble faulting the Parma, it was real chicken breast, great crumbs, succulent & juicy. It even had a light taste of chicken stuffing, the like that comes from a charcoal chicken, very nice.
The chips were pretty plain but cooked well, a little crunchy and nicely seasoned. The salad, was tasty and fresh always great to break up a heavy meal. It was a finely cut green salad however it had cabbage thrown in for good measure and the fresh addition of parsley, the only negative, it did have the strong taste of lemon but not a massive complaint.
At $22, it’s not the cheapest Parma but then nor was it the most expensive. I felt that it was good value for money. The pub itself has a cosy Irish pub feel, a great selection of beers on tap and the rest of the menu looked good also. I would definitely order it again.”

— Adam T

“Parma was piping hot, napoli was good but the onion was a little over the top. Standard chips.
Great cosy pub!”

— Fridge

“Loved the beautiful Parma, it was definitely the highlight of the dish for me. The sides were okay but could definitely use some love.”

— Nikki

At $22 I’m calling this one a bargain. The chicken quality was top notch and didn’t all feel like they were trying to make a buck off this meal (especially considering we had a $32 parma last week that wasn’t nearly as good as this one). If $22 is too rich for your blood the Dan offers up this same parma for just $16 (chicken or eggplant) on Monday nights. An amazing deal and one I whole heartedly recommend you check out.

The parma at the Dan is an astounding improvement on its 2010 counterpart. Do yourself a favour and drop in for a feed, or even just a beer - You won’t be disappointed either way.

Parma - 8.50

Chips - 6.25

Salad - 6.67

Value - 8.00

Total - 7.58

The search continues...

#356 - 'The Bavarian'

Where - L1, Highpoint Shopping Centre, 120-200 Rosamond Rd. Maribyrnong

Price - $28.50, Fries and Salad extra

Website - http://www.thebavarians.com/

Reviewers – Adam T, Lee & Nikki

Before we get started just a heads up, for this review we visited the Bavarian at Highpoint Shopping Centre in Maribyrnong, however there are 16 other Bavarians dotted around Australia (mostly in NSW and QLD) - Check the website to find your closest one.

So a little over a month ago we reviewed The Highpoint Hotel, newly revamped sports bar in the entertainment district of Highpoint Shopping Centre, after finishing up our meal and heading outside I noticed that the old Hog’s Breath Cafe that used to be next door was boarded up and in its place were photos advertising a new beer hall coming soon, however all the imagery seemed to be beer and sausage focussed, I didn’t connect the dots that the Bavarian would probably have a schnitzel or two on the menu.

I found myself at Highpoint again last week, but this time the Bavarian was open…

As far as beer halls go the Bavarian has nailed the vibe perfectly. It feels modern, while retaining that classic beer hall feel, with long picnic tables throughout the space as seating options it gives it a much more communal feel when it gets busy as you’re essentially drinking with everyone else at the pub (and for you anti-social folks there are single tables available too).

While looking at the new digs I checked out the menu and noticed an entire section dedicated to schnitzels. It was … Formidable.

With an impressive list of schnitzels confirmed (Including a specifically named Parmigiana) I scheduled a visit to the Bavarian as fast as I could, so last week we loaded up the parma bus and again found ourselves at Highpoint Shopping Centre.

There are 17 taps gracing the bar at the Bavarian, to be honest I’d expect nothing less from an establishment touting itself as a “Beer Hall”, and to be honest, they definitely bring it. All 17 beers are available in 300ml, 500ml and 1L steins, as well as a 2L table keg or a 1L glass boot akin to the one used in the finale of the movie Beerfest.

I won’t even begin to try and rattle off the list of beers available at the Bavarian as there are a lot of German words I will no doubt mis-spell (there’s a PDF on their website if you want to check it out), However I will say that whatever size, flavour or alcohol content of beer you’re feeling like I have no doubts you’ll find something for you at the Bavarian.

We ordered our meals at the bar along with a couple of boots of beer (pictured above) our beers were poured, we walked back to our table and our parmas arrived as we sat down. I honestly thought there was a mistake at the kitchen as there was no way our parmas could be ready so soon.

It couldn’t have been more than four minutes, five if I’m being generous.

This was a massive red flag in my eyes as there’s no possible way our order could be ready that quickly unless they were pre-cooking the schnitzels. Don’t get me wrong, I love a speedy parma, but when the meal gets back to my table after I order faster than I do … That’s less of a restaurant experience and more of a fast food vibe. It could be fine, but it just doesn’t sit well.

A little bit thrown, we picked up our cutlery and tucked in. It was real chicken breast, each plate around the table had a uniquely shaped piece of chicken as the foundation of their parma so they get points there, but other than that I wasn’t a huge wrap for the schnitzel. It was dry, the crumbing was thick and lacked any crunch. As I was kind’ve expecting it didn’t taste fresh.

In my eyes a Bavarian restaurant should have the highest calibre of schnitzel available, especially for the premium we paid for the experience (I’ll get to that later), pre-cooking parmas is an unacceptable practice, especially for a restaurant that should be hailing its schnitzels as a flagship item.

It was big enough, but not huge. With all of the sides combined I definitely walk away from the table hungry.

I don’t have many criticisms on the toppings. Other than needing another minute or so under the grill the cheese blend was flavoursome, with good parma coverage and had a nice gooey stretch to it. The napoli was a little less noteworthy - Nothing about it I disliked, but also nothing to comment on. It was fine.

No ham on this parma, which I definitely missed, especially when paying so much for the parma, I would expect them to pull out all of the stops and deliver a second to none parma experience.

Normally this is where I’d write about the chips, however the Bavarian does things a little differently. The base price on the menu for the parma ($28.50) gets you the parma itself and a side of coleslaw, nowhere on the menu is the side of coleslaw mentioned so I was under the impression that we needed to order multiple sides to fill out the meal. The menu lists three options of “Carbs” for you to add - Fries, Potato Salad and Mash, $2 extra each. For last nights meal I went with a side of fries and a side of potato salad (pictured above, the potato salad was under the parma, not visible in the photo) while reviewers Nikki and Adam went with the mash, Adam also getting the potato salad for good measure.

Overall I enjoyed my selection of carbs. The chips were well seasoned and the side of tomato sauce was appreciated. Despite (mostly) being served not underneath the parma they were a little bit soggy, but overall a quality side.

The potato salad was also great, taking me back to the old Prince of Wales days, I was reminded just how well a bit of spud salad pairs with a parma. Excellent.

I didn’t try any of the mash myself, but word around the table came back pretty positive. “Creamy” and “Really garlic-y” were two of the most used comments, seemed like a decently sized serve as well.

We’ve been on a bit of a run of coleslaws lately! In the last month we’ve had the Highpoint Hotel, The Park and Hardimans all serving up slaw in place of garden salad. How does the Bavarian stack up? Also pretty good! Much like what I heard about the mash it was also choc-full of garlic, so maybe avoid if you have a job interview in the near future, but it was fresh, flavoursome, maybe a little heavy handed on the aforementioned garlic but overall a refreshing side dish that worked well with the parma.

“I was expecting the schnitzel to be the star of this dish but was bitterly disappointed. I enjoyed the pub, great atmosphere, but probably won’t have a Parma next time around”

— Nikki

“There was a feeling of optimism heading to the Bavarian for Parmas this evening, optimism being fed from the style of restaurant, the menu obviously specialising in schnitzels and the price they were asking for the meals themselves.

The Parma itself was a little on the thin side it appeared to be chicken breast and not processed although not obvious, a little investigating was required to determine. The crumb was a little too uniform and plain, adding weight to the processed vs handmade question, the napoli tasted fine and there was a good amount of cheese, a few slices of ham would have done wonders or even, given the meals the Bavarian has on the menu, maybe some pork knuckle or pork sausage to make it their own.

Overall I wasn’t overly impressed with the Parma itself. Although I swopped a few of Lee’s chips to try, I myself had the potato salad and potato mash as a side, it also came with a complimentary coleslaw which was a massive garlic hit but very delicious. The mash was good and potato salad tasty also, no complaints there.

Overall, it was a satisfying meal, coupled with some tasty beer and great mates. My only negatives: The meal came out in minutes which sounds great but nowhere near enough time to construct and plate up a handmade meal to the quality you’d expect from a venue like this, the Parma was a little below par, nice for a discount Parma night at the local but not for $28 just for the Parma and coleslaw plus $2 per side, that’s restaurant pricing so I want restaurant quality food, again tasty enough but if I went there again I’d order something else.”

— Adam T

Value is a tough one this week. $28.50 for a parma is damn pricey. Throw in another $2 for chips and another $2 for potato salad and you’re looking at $32.50 for a parma with chips and salad, making this the most expensive non-novelty parma we’ve ever done. Ever.

So the big question - Is it worth the price? To be honest, in it’s current state I wouldn’t recommend it. I really don’t want to harp on about the price but for over thirty dollars I want the mother-flippin’ Cadillac of parmas on my plate, not something pre-cooked, slapped together and shoved out of the kitchen before I can even get back to my table.

I noticed a “2-for-1 schnitzel Tuesdays” on the list, I’m not sure if this extends to parmas but I would assume so? If you want to try the parma at the Bavarian and not break the bank that would be the time to drop in.

Oddly enough the Bavarian has a weird tie-in deal with the Qantas Frequent Flyers club, wherein you can spend 4000 points to get $20 off your meal, or in turn you can earn 2 Frequent Flyer points for every $1 spent at the Bavarian… Fair enough I guess?

The Bavarian is a fantastic looking pub that I can’t wait to head back to for another boot or two. It’s a super fun, friendly atmosphere and an awesome place for a session. I had three different sides to my parma (chips, salad, potato salad) and they were all delightful, and reports back on the mash seem to indicate the same. The one spot the Bavarian falls down is with the parma itself. You just can’t send out pre-cooked schnitzels at such a premium price. When the bulk of your menu is either Sausages or Schnitzels you have to kind' of nail it when you come to such a key aspect.

The old adage is “good food takes time to prepare” I don’t need my parma on my table in 5 minutes. Slow it down, take your time, I’m happy to wait if it means you get it right.

Parma - 5.77

Chips (Carbs) - 8.00

Salad - 7.33

Value - 4.00

Total - 6.17

The search continues...

#355 - 'The East Brunswick Hotel: Redux'

Where - 280 Lygon St. East Brunswick

Price - $24

Website - https://www.eastbrunswickhotel.com.au

Reviewers – Adam T, Lee, Nikki, Rachel, Stefo

Back in 2015 the East Brunswick Hotel landed on our radar after a Herald Sun article named it as one of the best in Melbourne. We checked it out then (you can read about it here) and at the time we were relatively impressed. The pub was unrecognisable from the East Brunswick Hotel that once was, it’d be up there with our recent visit to Hardimans as one of the most drastic pub transformations we’ve ever seen.

The parma was pretty good! It was different to how we traditionally like our parmas here (it was hammered thin instead of giving it some thickness, shoestring fries instead of chunky chips), but it had a lot of redeeming qualities and overall it rated pretty well. It wasn’t the best in Victoria as the Herald Sun would have you believe, but as far as parmas go you could do a lot worse.

Then in a weird turn of events, not long after re-opening the East Brunswick shut up shop. The details are a little bit murky but basically one day business was booming and the next the doors were locked. After that I had written it off as another old pub that would be converted to apartments, imagine my surprise when I heard only a week or so ago that The East Brunny had, once again, re-opened her doors with new owners at the helm.

With new owners comes renovations, and while not as drastic as the initial transformation the East Brunswick underwent the new changes to the pub are more subtle, and to be honest, I think they’re for the better. The first time the pub was re-done they cranked it to eleven, the new owners have scaled things back to an eight or nine. Gone are the garish neon signs (which gave me a headache), the tiled floor has been replaced with wooden floorboards and large hardwood tables have really reinstated the cosy feeling that the last iteration was lacking.

Live sport is definitely a priority at the East Brunny as there are plenty of TV’s around showcasing whatever is on, the centrepiece being an insanely huge screen dominating the majority of the southern wall.

As the East Brunswick had only recently re-opened I thought we would easily snag a table for our review. Surely the word hadn’t gotten out so quickly that the old girl had opened her doors once more. Well I don’t know if it was due to the AFL Finals on TV (Richmond V Hawthorn) or just sheer love for the establishment, but on arrival the pub was already shoulder-to-shoulder with patrons, A rare experience for us at 7pm on a Thursday.

We lucked a table in the centre of the room, grabbed a menu and located our target for the evening…

Beer-wise there’s plenty on offer at the East Brunny. 11 taps run the gamut from Furphy to Stone & Wood to Stomping Ground, and down in the fridge behind the bartenders lies a healthy range of tins and bottles (Balter, Kaiju, Mountain Goat, VB). They’ve struck a good mix between the old standards and something with a little more flavour - Definitely something on offer to wet everybody’s whistles.

As is tradition with Redo’s let us first take a look at the 2015 East Brunswick parma before we dive in to its 2018 counterpart…

The East Brunswick Hotel's parma in 2015

The East Brunswick parma in 2018

The first thing I noticed about the new parma at the East Brunswick is that it seemed like our biggest two complaints had been rectified - Specifically the thickness of both the schnitzel and the chips.

More on the chips later, first up the schnitzel. A hearty piece of chicken. Well cooked and crumbed with a whole lot of crunch around the exposed edges - Unfortunately that crunch didn’t carry all the way through as the crumbs on the bottom of the schnitzel had become rather soggy in their travels from the kitchen to our table. Other than that I don’t have too many more complaints - The cheese melt was quite flavoursome and the serving of ham was extremely generous. I would have liked a little more flavour to the ham as, even though there was plenty of it, it was a little hard to detect amongst the other elements of the dish.

The napoli was a point of note, a lot of the reviewers at the table likening it to more of a bolognese sauce that a napoli (not that it had ground beef through it, more of an “overall vibe” feeling). I could have used a little more napoli on my parma as I didn’t quite get the same notes that they did, however after 8 years of reviewing parmas with this group I have learned to take them at their word on occasion!

Despite a few minor quibbles the parma at the East Brunny was super enjoyable, and definitely an improvement on its 2015 predecessor.

The chips were straight up fantastic. Gone is the bowl of shoestring “maccas” fries and it their place is a massive serving of beer battered beauties. Cooked to crunchy perfection with piping hot pillows of potato inside. Well seasoned with a side of aioli (tomato sauce was also offered) thrown in on the side for good measure. Excellently done.

The salad was the weakest of the bunch. A decently sized serve but there was just nothing to it. Some oily lettuce leaves with a bit of onion, cucumber and tomato (and some of the reviewers around the table didn’t even get the tomato). After such a solid showing with the parma and chips the salad felt like an afterthought. Definite room for improvement here.

“Great size and thickness. Crumbing was good and served piping hot. Napoli was different - A bit like a bolognese sauce. ”

— Fridge

“My experience at the East Brunswick was quite good overall. The venue was warm and comfortable, solid timber bar & tables adding a couch of class along with TV’s spaced throughout and a good variety of beers on tap. The parma was a great size, real chicken breast and quite thick.

I didn’t love the sauce, nor did I hate it, I felt it was closer to a pasta sauce than a parma sauce. The chips were well seasoned, in abundance and went fantastically with the supplied garlic aioli. The salad let the meal down a little, just your run of the mill gourmet salad mix with 2-3 pieces of tomato and I’m not 100% sure there was dressing on it as it was quite dry.

Overall I enjoyed the feed, great company and great food on a rainy spring evening!”

— Adam T

“I’m a salad fiend so my standards are high - The tomatoes were soggy and the leaves were limp. Very little onion and our salads were inconsistent (ie. I had tomato but Stefan had none).

Chips were diving! Parma was delish but would have liked it crunchy all the way around the chicken, not just on one side. A little bit too much cheese for my liking, chicken was moist and delicious - Would definitely come back but would probably ask for no salad and chips instead.”

— Rachel

“If you’re all about the salad then this one is pretty “meh”, but the rest of the meal was great”

— Stefo

“Loved the big serving of crunchy chips with aioli. The parma was pretty good overall I, just didn’t like the sogginess of the crumbs on the bottom. The salad was the weak link, let down what was an overall great meal!”

— Nikki

As far as value for money goes I’d rate this parma pretty highly. The serving of chips was massive, the aioli was chucked in for free as far as I’m aware and all the ingredients (other than the salad) were of the highest calibre. I’ve had a quick squiz around the East Brunswick’s website and social media pages and as far as I can see there aren’t any parma nights on the books as yet, but to be honest I’d happily chip in another $24 for the parma we received.

Oh and its also worth mentioning that during this review we were shadowed by the lovely Rachel from the Moonee Valley Leader. If you live in the Moonee Valley region be sure to keep an eye on the next issue as we may be making an appearance! (Ill be sure to update our facebook when it drops).

All up I’m quite impressed with the East Brunswick. The renovations have given the pub a much more inclusive, local pub atmosphere compared to what it was. The parma was damn fine, let down by a lacklustre salad offering, but otherwise definitely worth checking out.

Parma - 8.00

Chips - 8.25

Salad - 5.00

Value - 7.60

Total - 7.37

The search continues...

#354 - 'Hardimans Hotel: Redux'

Where - 521 Macaulay Rd. Kensington

Price - $23

Website - http://www.hardimans.com.au

Reviewers – Lee & Nikki

As this month or so of reduxes (reducies? I'm not sure of the plural on that) rolls on I have found myself in the middle of a bit of an existential crisis. Redos on ParmaDaze started simply enough - A pub felt like they got a bit of an unfair shake when they were reviewed, pledged to fix the issues we had with it and asked us to check it out again. We'd go and give it another go and adjust the review score accordingly - Yet over time things have gotten a little murky.

Pubs change hands, new owners move in, buildings get gutted and names get changed - All this blurs the line between what should be considered a "redo" and what should be considered a new pub. For example we considered our recent revisit to The Park Hotel a redo as the name and location of the pub remained the same yet an entirely new team was at the helm, but a week later our visit to Celtic at Metropolitan was listed as a new review and not a redo, the only difference being the latter slightly altered the name of the pub by adding "Celtic at..." to its title when the Park kept theirs unaltered.

Following the train of thought leads to some pretty deep philosophical questions. What makes a new pub new? Do only pubs that retain the same management team/ownership qualify for "redo" status? What about a new head chef taking over a kitchen? It's a Ship of Theseus paradox that I haven't had nearly enough beers to think about without giving myself a headache. To be honest I don't even know how we should clarify what is a Redux and what isn't anymore - I'm open to suggestion so feel free to leave a comment below or on our various social media sites with your thoughts.

Which brings us to this week's review - Kensington's Hardimans Hotel. We first visited Hardimans back in June of 2011 and, well, I'm not gonna sugar coat it - it was a dive. You can read the full review here but the TL;DR is that they had no clean glasses, there were mice openly running around the floor of the pub it was dank, dirty and to be honest one of the worst parmas we have had in the over 8 years we've been doing this, sitting at the bottom of our ladder for quite some time.

Then, last year, Hardiman's shut up shop. New owners took over and basically gutted the building. I noticed during our visit to Kensington Food Hall in April this year that work was being done and have been tracking its progress since - Until Friday last week, when the new look Hardimans opened its doors. 

I couldn't even wait until our usual Thursday parma night to check it out, so we loaded up the parma bus on Saturday afternoon and headed to Hardimans to see how it all turned out. 

Walking into the pub I was floored - The pub is completely unrecognisable inside. Gone is the dank, mouse ridden cesspool and in its place is a bright, spacious and downright gorgeous pub. 

We grabbed a table in the front bar, tracked down a menu and spied our target for the afternoon...

Looking good, we placed our order at the bar and waited for our meals to arrive. 

Now Hardimans had been open for less than 24 hours at the time of our review, so I was prepared to cut them a bit of slack in terms of service as all pubs have their share of teething problems (I even considered delaying the review while they sorted out any kinks, but I had been looking forward to this one opening for so long I couldn't help it). However no slack was needed the service at Hardimans was pretty hard to fault. The bar staff were bright eyed, friendly and helpful. Happy to have a chat and recommend their favourites from the beer taps on offer.

Speaking of which, the tap list at Hardimans was impressive right out of the gate. Moon Dog, Hop Nation, Mountain Goat, Stone & Wood and the nearby Henry St. Brewhouse to name just a few of the 20 taps on offer, with even more in the fridge below. 

As is tradition with revisits (if this counts as a revisit... I don't even know anymore) lets compare the 2011 Hardimans parma to its 2018 counterpart. 

Hardimans Parma circa 2011

Hardimans parma circa 2018

Holy crap what an upgrade! For starters Hardimans has one of the more unique platings for a parma we have seen for some time, looking a bit more like an art installation than a pub feed. As you can see from the photos the parma sits alone on a large plate, with the chips and slaw coming in their own dish to the side. My initial thoughts were that it looked a little dry on the plate, but those fears were quickly allayed when I tucked in and found a juicy fresh chicken breast underneath the crispy crumbs. 

The chicken quality was exceptional. The schnitzel was huge (possibly two smaller schnitzels plated together) and cooked to perfection. 

Now in an unusual move I'm giving the crumbs their own paragraph because I've got a lot to talk about. When the parma first hit the table the aroma hit me. Garlic. Now let me be clear that I love garlic, the more the better, and luckily so because the crumbing of the Hardiman parma is absolutely jam packed with garlic to the point where this parma tastes a lot like a chicken kiev, smooshed flat, with chicken parma toppings on top. It's a love-it or hate-it move that will no doubt divide the parma lovers. I firmly fall onto #teamgarlic, but if you aren't as much of a fan, well, you've been warned.

The other toppings were stellar. Crispy prosciutto added a salty punch, the cheese blend was spot on, with a healthy dusting of parmesan on top and the napoli sauce was rich and strong. 

I'm not gonna lie with the garlic in the crumbs, the prosciutto and the parmesan cheese this is a parma of bold flavours. There's a lot going on here and it can get a bit overpowering at times. Luckily the side of slaw works super well as a palate cleanser to balance things out a little. 

The thick cut bad boy chips on the side plate were cooked well and nicely seasoned. When they first arrived it looked like it was a rather small serve of chips, but they were super filling and I didn't end up finishing them all. A couple of them were slightly undercooked and a bit hard in the middle, but it's a criticism barely worth mentioning. 

As mentioned before the slaw worked amazingly as a palate cleanser from the onslaught of flavours in this parma, It was fresh and crisp (although not quite as fresh as The Park's), if I had any complaint it would be that the serving size was a little small - For such a big parma I just wanted more. Having it served on the side plate it was a little bit awkward to manoeuvre if I wanted a bit of parma and a bit of slaw in one bite, but for the great aesthetic of the parma alone on the plate I'm happy with it as is.

“I was worried when I only counted 9 chips on my plate, but they were so filling I couldn’t finish them all. Strong flavours in this parma but I loved the garlic punch. ”

— Nikki

As far as I'm aware there aren't any parma nights on the books at Hardimans just yet (but as I said they've only just opened, I wouldn't be surprised if they add one down the line) It's currently priced at $23, which I think is a more than reasonable price for what we received. The Hardimans parma uses great quality ingredients from top to bottom that I honestly have trouble faulting - A great feed at a perfectly reasonable price. 

I'm a little worried that I'm gushing so much over the Hardimans parma when I know that it's not gonna be for everyone. The garlic in the crumbs is super powerful and would absolutely dominate the flavours in any other dish, however with the strong parmesan and prosciutto backing it up I think it balances out well (although I can totally understand that others may not agree). Either way its definitely worth checking out, if only for the outstanding renovations that have transformed this once dive bar in to a beautiful example of a local pub. 

And it looks like they got rid of the mice 🐭

Parma - 8.85

Chips - 7.95

Salad - 7.25

Value - 8.00

Total - 8.18

The search continues...

#353 - 'Celtic at Metropolitan'

Where - 42A Courtney St. North Melbourne

Price - $24

Website - http://www.metrohotel.com.au

Reviewers – Lee, Nikki & Stefo

When I mentioned at the top of our Woodlands Hotel: Redux review that there would be a few redos appearing in the coming weeks I wasn't kidding, and although today's visit to the Celtic at Metropolitan isn't strictly a redo, it is redo-esque, as it's taking the now closed top 10 title holder The Metropolitan Hotel and the now closed Celtic Club, smashing them together into an unholy Irish hybrid and I figured we'd better do our due diligence and see what sort of parma had been birthed in the process. 

Our trip to the Metropolitan was right at the very start of our quest, our seventh review to be exact, and it blew us out of the water. It held the #1 for a long time and, had we been doing Golden Chook Awards that early on in this little endeavour, most definitely would have received at least one. We got to the Celtic Club's parma in 2015 and it wasn't as well received. It was okay, but definitely not one I'd write home about. So when the Celtic Club shut its doors I mentally noted it as another loss of a fine CBD pub but honestly didn't think much more of it.

Until, while walking past the Metropolitan Hotel recently, noticed they had changed their name to 'Celtic at Metropolitan' and that the menu had taken on a considerably more Irish pub fare slant (lamb stew, beef & Guinness pie... the usual suspects). I did a bit of research and it turned out that yes, since February this year the Metropolitan has become the "new home" of the Celtic Club, and is now trading as (you guessed it) Celtic at Metropolitan. 

I was curious. The Metropolitan's parma was always great (granted I hadn't had it in about 7 years), and this spurred us to head over and see what kind've parma is being served at the once fantastic pub. 

The Interior of the pub hasn't changed much at all. It's still the same Metropolitan I remember from 2010. There have been a few cosmetic touches here and there to Irish it up a little, but overall the bones of the Metropolitan are still there. Definitely a quality watering hole. 

We grabbed a table and checked the menu, I got a little worried when I didn't see the parma listed under the "Mains" section of the menu but found it, oddly enough, listed under "Celtic Classics" amongst the Irish pub grub selections. 

The tap list at the Celtic is unsurprisingly Irish. Guinness, Kilkenny & Heineken along with Little Creatures Pale, Furphy, Carlton, Byron Bay and Panhead, along with a few more bottled options in the fridge - Not the craftiest selection in the world, but I wouldn't really expect anything too fancy from an Irish pub. 

About 10-15 minutes after ordering our parmas arrived from the kitchen...

First things first, this parma was a freaking monster. Engulfing everything on the plate, this was at least two parmas worth of parma in one serve. We haven't had a big parma in a while, this is definitely the biggest feed we've done in years... Absolutely huge. 

Surprisingly, despite being massive, the quality of the schnitzel didn't take a hit. It was chicken breast, unprocessed and well cooked. A little dry but not overtly so, and the crumbs retained an awesome crunch. Solid foundation. 

The toppings that we had were pretty good, the cheese blend was solid, with a strong tasty cheese bite. The napoli was a tad thick, but rich, flavoursome and covered the entire dish. 

Now we may be a little biased coming off last week's review of the fantastic Park Hotel, which was covered in lashings of fresh smoked ham, but the parma at the Celtic was in desperate need of some ham on top. The chicken, the cheese and the napoli were all solid, but a parma this size needs some ham to help stave off Big Parma Syndrome halfway though. Everyone at the table agreed that some smoked ham on top of this parma would have taken it to the next level. 

Compared to it's previous two iterations I'd say it's somewhere in the middle. Better than the Celtic Club on Queen Street, but not quite as good as the old Metropolitan's parma... Although that might be rose coloured glasses talking as I haven't had the old Metro parma for a good 7 or 8 years.

What trip to an Irish pub would be complete without a serve of curry chips? For $8 we grabbed a bowl to share amongst the table and I'll be damned if they weren't fantastic. The same chips in the bowl were served under the parma. Beer battered, well cooked and well seasoned, and having the curry sauce nearby elevated them immensely - Definitely recommend partaking should you visit for a parma.

The salad looked a little wilted on the plate but it was actually super flavoursome - Plenty of creamy dressing (bordering on too much to be honest). A heap of mustard seeds throughout gave this salad a strong mustard flavour, if that is your thing you'll probably really enjoy this one. 

“This thing was pleading for a bit of ham”

— Stefo

“This parma was so big it was almost overwhelming. It was tasty, but some smoked ham would have really complimented this dish. Curry chips were on point. ”

— Nikki

Wednesday night is parma night at the Celtic, $15 will get you the parma pictured above or the same in eggplant if that is more your thing (although I think the Venn diagram of readers of ParmaDaze and vegetarians would be two seperate circles). $15 for the parma we received is an absolute friggin' bargain and I'd definitely recommend getting on it ASAP.

Apparently the Celtic Club is moving back to its original premises at 320 Queen Street in about 3-4 years time after its renovations are complete, what happens to the Celtic at Metropolitan at that time I don't know, but I'd suggest heading down to North Melbourne and trying this one, especially on parma night - The parma isn't without it's faults, but it is a massive, quality meal in a great pub at an insanely good price (on Wednesdays). Worth checking out. 

Parma - 7.87

Chips - 7.83

Salad - 6.83

Value - 7.00

Total - 7.48

The search continues...

#352 - 'The Park Hotel: Redux'

Where - 191 Nicholson St. Abbotsford

Price - $22

Website - https://www.theparkhotel.com.au

Reviewers – Adam T, Lee, Nikki, Stefo

Normally when we redo a pub it's because we received word that a once poorly reviewed parma has upped its game, and would like a second chance to get things right. However, when we first reviewed The Park Hotel back in 2012 we absolutely loved it, considering it one of the best parmas we had tried so far. 

Over the years since our first review of the park I had heard different reports about the quality of the parma. One week I'd get an email claiming they had changed chefs and it had turned crap, then the following week I'd get tagged in a post claiming it was the best parma someone had ever had. We have always meant to put it on the docket for a redo, but it's hard to get enthused about heading out for a parma when the only place to go is down. 

Cut to 2018. We still consider the parma at The Park in our top 10 (although it has dropped to 5th place in the 6 years since our first visit), and I receive word that the pub has new owners, the team behind the fantastic Royston Hotel in Richmond have taken up the reigns at The Park and completely remodelled their parma. The Park has a good pedigree, the Royston has a good pedigree - Surely the meeting of these parma champions can mean only good things! So last night we loaded up the parma bus and headed back to Abbotsford to see what had changed. 

We arrived shortly after 7 on a Thursday evening and the Park Hotel was already packed. It still boasts a fantastic backstreets local pub vibe. In our first review I made the comment "If I lived anywhere near Abbotsford this place would be my local, hell I’d even consider moving just to be closer to this pub, simply gorgeous" and to be honest my opinions on the matter haven't changed - An absolutely stunning pub. 

We didn't have a booking but out of sheer luck we managed to snag a table in the rear dining area, right next to one of many open fireplaces, which was delightful on a chilly August night. 

A menu was waiting for us at our table, we checked it out and spied our target for the evening. 

Other than the parma there were some tantalising other options on the menu. The Philly Cheese steak, Cheeseburger spring rolls and hot & numbing chicken wings were particularly tantalising, and the tease of a Wednesday night $18 steak night seemed like a delightful way to spend an evening. 

I didn't get a great look at the tap list as we placed our order via the rear window that leads through to the dining area, but at the very least they had Balter XPA and Stone & Wood on tap, so I was completely satisfied with that. 

About 15 minutes after ordering our parmas arrived at our table. As is tradition with Redo's here at ParmaDaze lets have a look at the 2012 version before getting stuck into the 2018 review...

The Park Hotel 2012 parma - Well known for the signature bacon strip across the top

The Park Hotel 2018 parma

Talk about a transformation! The parma at the Park Hotel is completely different from its predecessor. The strip of bacon on top is no more and in its place are healthy lashings of crisp smoked ham. 

The schnitzel beneath was top notch. Pure, untainted chicken breast, lightly crumbed and cooked to maintain a solid crunch while enjoying. The napoli was abundant and flavoursome and the cheese, while not drowning the parma, was used with restraint and cooked with perfection to let the other elements shine through while making its presence known. 

If I had to criticise it I'd say it was served a little cooler than I'd like. Not cold by any stretch, but I enjoy my parmas piping hot, and this was slightly below that. A minor complaint to an otherwise flawless parma. 

I was a little worried when I first saw the chips. There was no salt on the table and I couldn't see any sauce around so I was concerned that they would need a bit of help - Luckily the chips on the Park parma didn't need any help. Perfectly cooked. Perfectly seasoned (I detected a note of chicken salt?) and served to the side of the parma. Fantastic.

I've been harping on for a while about pubs needing to do something different with their salad, garden salads are played out and boring and, while a better option, creamy coleslaw can be a bit too heavy when beside an already heavy meal like a chicken parmigiana. Well the Park Hotel seems to have struck the perfect balance with their shredded cabbage salad. It's a middle ground between garden salad and coleslaw. Shredded cabbage, packed with crisp red onion and no heavy mayo to be found. It was the epitome of fresh, and the perfect palate cleanser to accompany the dish. 

“The chicken was well cooked, great flavour. Chips were cut on the thin side but full sized and well seasoned. The salad was delicious, freshly prepared and fresh tasting - The perfect accompaniment to the parma & chips, something light and fresh to break up the meal. Overall I felt quite satisfied with the serving size and for the $22 price tag I was happy and would gladly pay that again”

— Adam T

“Loved the smokey ham. The parma was definitely the star of the dish”

— Nikki

“Everything on the plate was great. I’m usually one to cover my plate with salt & pepper as soon as it arrives at the table - There wasn’t the need for this parma as everything was already seasoned adequately. One of the best we’ve had.”

— Stefo

As far as I can tell the Park Hotel doesn't have any parma nights on their books, however I'd happily pay $25 plus for the parma we received last night - Having it clock in at only $22 is a bargain in my eyes, no complaints whatsoever. 

All up the parma at the Park Hotel is absolutely phenomenal. It's like they took our criticisms of the Royston, fixed them, and moved them over to another pub (and this definitely puts the Royston on our radar for a Re-Redo). We used to tout the parma at the Park as one of the best in Melbourne, now they've somehow made it even better. Do yourself a favour and go check it out, you won't be disappointed. 

Parma - 9.00

Chips - 7.75

Salad - 8.50

Value - 8.25

Total - 8.50

The search continues...

#351 - 'Highpoint Hotel'

Where - Highpoint Shopping Centre, Maribyrnong (Bottom level, near the cinema)

Price - $22

Website - https://www.highpointhotel.com.au

Reviewers – Lee, Nikki & Stefo

Alright, before we kick of this week's review I've got to take a second to promote the Parma For A Farmer campaign. I am absolutely gobsmacked with the amount of pubs that have gotten on board for this thing and I am doing my best to spread the word for this fantastic cause, so do yourself a favour and check out the Parma For A Farmer Facebook page - They're doing their best to keep up to date with participating pubs but to be honest there are so many jumping on board they must be struggling to keep up. Amazing work. 

And yes, tonight's target is also participating, donating $1 from every parma sold in August to drought relief. 

In the before time, in the long long ago before ParmaDaze existed and we would blissfully enjoy our weekly parma at the Prince of Wales Hotel, the biggest competition for parmas-served-per-week was a pub at Highpoint known as Ruby. Now I was content with my weekly parma at the Prince of Wales so I never ventured to see what Ruby had on offer, but rumour has it they had queues out the door when their parma night was the big thing. They closed down long before we kicked off ParmaDaze so it would appear that just how good the Ruby parma was is lost to time, if anyone remembers the Ruby parma night be sure to let me know!

Anyway, this is a very round-about way of introducing this week's attempt - The Highpoint Hotel. Next door to where Ruby was located was the Highpoint hotel, which, until last month, was nothing more than a pokies room that was in my top 10 picks for the most depressing place on earth. It was a mostly empty room with a tiny bar, TAB and pokies out the back. So imagine my surprise when I found out it had been completely gutted and was now touting itself as the "biggest & best sports bar in the West!" - This was a claim that had to be investigated, so last night we loaded up the parma bus and headed to the Highpoint Hotel

First up, as you can see from the above panoramic photo this place is freaking huge. Without a doubt the biggest (indoor) pub I've ever been to. The walls are lined with multiple massive TV's, at least 4 pool tables scattered around the venue, a professional looking darts setup, TAB, and even a selection of pinball, arcade and skill tester machines they must've nicked from nearby Playtime. Oh, and the pokies are still there, but they are much less intrusive than they used to be. 

We grabbed a seat and checked the menu...

Sounds good, we ordered at the bar and grabbed our Boomerang-style device (you know the one, it buzzes and flashes when your parma is ready to be collected from the window). 

In researching this pub beforehand I noticed that it is part of the ALH pub group, the conglomeration of over 300 pubs around Australia owned by Woolworths. 

When it comes to parmas the ALH name is pretty much a death sentence. ALH pubs are almost always dank pokies dens that care more about getting punters in than the quality of the food - So I won't lie when I say expectations for this one were horribly low.

Colour me shocked when I realised that there were actually decent beers available at the Highpoint Hotel. On tap was Carlton, VB, Brooklyn, One Fifty Lashes, Furphy, Blue Moon, Sierra Nevada, Pirate Life, 4 Pines, Pimms, Orchard Thieves and Ginger Beer. Then in the fridge we had (among other options) cans of Colonial, Young Henry's and Coors. I was massively surprised with the selection on offer. 

About 15 minutes after ordering our buzzers buzzed and we collected our parmas...

Well. This looks much better than expected! We picked up our cutlery and tucked in. First up, the buttermilk fried chicken is definitely a different yet interesting foundation to a parma. It kept the crumbing thin and crispy and even carried a little bit of spice through with it. I wouldn't want it every time, but it was definitely appreciated as something different. 

Real chicken breast although it was a little bit overcooked and a bit dry - Could have been phenomenal had the chicken been a little bit juicier.

The toppings were solid all round. Great finishing touches with the parmesan & parsley garnish on top. Ham was applied liberally and carried a strong smokey flavour - Even the sugo had a bit of personality. There was a lot going on with this parma, many different flavours to appreciate and they all worked pretty damn well together. 

The chips were probably the weakest element of the dish. They could have been great - Coated with a spicy, almost Cajun seasoning they were definitely something new, however ours were served pretty much cold, felt like they had been sitting out for a while before they were plated up. 

Rather than a traditional garden salad the Highpoint Hotel has opted for a spicy coleslaw. Heavy on the mayo, it paired super well with the parma and even helped alleviate some of the dryness from the chicken. 

“The buttermilk chicken was a different take on the traditional schnitzel - It worked well with the selection of toppings. Different, but tasty.”

— Stefo

“A tasty parma overall, but would have like the chips to be hotter and the coleslaw to be colder. Felt like both had been sitting out for a while. ”

— Nikki

$22 for what we received was a perfectly reasonable price - Nobody left the table hungry and they weren't at all tight with any of the elements on the plate. I'd definitely be back for that price. I can't see any specific parma nights on the books, but there are a few drink specials worth checking out in the "What's On" section of their website.

The Highpoint Hotel honestly blew my expectations out of the water. I expected an ALH pub to play it safe, not offer up a wide gamut of bold flavours. The Highpoint Hotel parma took a lot of risks, most of which paid of beautifully. It's comforting to know that the next time your partner wants to go shopping at Highpoint there's actually a decent pub you can duck off to & watch the footy while you wait. Definitely worth checking out.

Parma - 8.17

Chips - 5.00

Salad - 7.33

Value - 7.00

Total - 7.13

The search continues...

#350 - 'The Woodlands Hotel: Redux'

Where - 84-88 Sydney Rd. Coburg

Price - $26

Website - https://thewoodlandshotel.com.au

Reviewers – Kim, Lee, Nikki, Pat

Before we get into the Woodlands review just a heads up - We've got a few redo's coming up in the next few months. We normally try and keep our revisits to one per month max, however lately we have been inundated for requests for revisits, and from some damn fine looking places too! 

It won't be all redo's, but definitely more than usual over the next few months. Anyway. On to this week's review. 

I have long praised the Woodlands Hotel for it's unique take on the chicken parma. I have written articles for other websites praising it as being one of Melbourne's most "weird and wonderful" takes on a parma. Our original review back in 2013 hailed it as a parma of bold flavours and unconventional presentation. 

So when I saw this post on the Woodland's Instagram...

My interest was definitely piqued. While I wouldn't call the old Woodlands parma perfect (the uncommon flavours could turn some punters off) It'd be a shame if Melbourne lost one of the most exotic examples of a parma we have to offer. Further research was definitely needed so this week we loaded up the Parma Bus and headed back to the Woodland's Hotel in Coburg. 

The Interior of the Woodlands remains unchanged, the light and spacious front bar is where we set up shop for the evening. While we ate the back room was pumping with live music and quite a few people came in and ascended the stairs to the 2nd floor Steakhouse, a spot I made a mental note to definitely return to in the future. 

We grabbed the menu and checked our target...

We placed our orders at the bar, kicked back and waited for our dinner to arrive. 

As far as a tap list goes the Woodlands prides itself on a solid rotation of craft beers. I dare not list any here as they will most likely be gone by the time you get there, but know this is a pub dedicated to a varying selection of quality local brews (Not to mention over 40 options in cans & stubbies in the fridge)

As is tradition with revisits, lets compare our 2013 visit with it's 2018 counterpart

2013 - 

2018 - 

As you can see by the above photos the biggest change in the Woodlands parma is the presentation. No longer is the parma on the chips and the salad on the parma, they have been de-stacked into a more traditional plating style. 

As far as schnitzels go this one is on the money. Impossibly juicy pure white chicken breast, cooked to perfection with its thickness left in tact. I normally like my crumbs with a bit more crunch but that's a minor complaint - Nearing perfection with this schnitzel. 

The prosciutto has been swapped out for speck and the taleggio switched to brie, but luckily the bold flavours I have praised this parma for in the past still remain.

The napoli sauce is chunky and fresh and everything was of the highest quality. I must say that I would probably prefer the original prosciutto over the speck and I enjoy the salty punch prosciutto brings, but for the most part the thickly cut speck is a fine alternative. 

Non traditional parmas are always a risk, I wish I could report that everyone around the table liked the Woodland's take on a parma but the creamy brie wasn't for everyone, something you might want to consider before jumping in. 

I'm not a fan of shoestring fries at the best of times, but as far as shoestring fries go these were pretty good. Well seasoned, piping hot, and we managed to get our hands on some garlic aioli chip dip on request. 

The salad was quite simple (leafy greens with some onion) but did the job, the dressing used doing its best to bring out its flavours. It was fine as a palate cleanser, but nothing outstanding. 

“Not a #1 contender but I don’t think that is what they’re going for - A different, but overall tasty meal.”

— Pat

“The ham was different and quite enjoyable, but I was not a fan of the brie”

— Kim

“Amazing quality chicken breast and bold flavours all around!”

— Nikki

The Woodlands parma uses the highest calibre of ingredients, so be honest I don't think the $26 price tag is too big of an ask. If you're after a bargain on Monday nights they offer up a parma, steak, burger or fish & chips with a free pot or glass of wine for just $20, a fantastic deal if you ask me!

I am relieved that the Woodlands Hotel didn't alter their unique take on a parma. It's definitely not for everyone, however if you're feeling adventurous it's definitely one worth checking out. 

Parma - 7.75

Chips - 7.13

Salad - 5.90

Value - 6.50

Total - 7.01

The search continues...