Attempt #220 - 'The University Hotel'

[info]When? - 16th of April, 2015

Where? - 272 Lygon St. Carlton

Price? - $18

Website? - http://www.unihotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Fridge, Lee, Stefo, Tony [/info]

If you've got an extremely good memory you'll remember that I wanted to try The University Hotel in October of 2013, but we made a mistake and wound up going to Universal instead (which turned out to be a pretty happy accident, as Universal's parma was actually pretty good) - but a part of me always wondered what we missed out on at The University Hotel, so last night we loaded up the parma bus and headed to Lygon St.

Now if you're a fan of the Carlton footy club you may be surprised to learn that it was within the walls of The University hotel that the CFC was founded (at least thats what a plaque on the wall says, and this article seems to back it up). The pub itself is surprisingly small. I grabbed my beer at the bar and assumed the rest of the pub was upstairs but nope ... function room.

It's a cosy spot, but there were enough tables both inside and out on busy Lygon st to satisfy our needs, It was a good night to people-watch so we pulled up a pew at the outdoor eating area, checked the menu...

Nice to see the parma get top billing on the menu

And ordered our meals.

One thing that really surprised me about The University Hotel was their respect for good quality beer. Like I said it's a tiny pub with only a few of taps, but on those taps we had the option on Mountain Goat Steam Ale, Moon Dog Love Tap, Hawthorn Pale Ale and a rotating guest tap, currently pouring Wolf of the Willows XPA. All hovering at about $5 per pot at $10 per pint, which is pretty reasonable in my book.

After about 15 minutes our parmas arrived -

The schnitzel was big enough, I'd actually say schnitzels as it was two separate chicken breasts cheesed together. The schnitzel wasn't very thick and it was quite overcooked, leaving it rather dry.

The toppings looked great on the plate - good coverage, and I loved the use of shaved ham, but nothing seemed to pop. There was no napoli that I could detect, and ...to be honest all the toppings tasted "fake", kind've like if you scraped the toppings off of a McCain's oven-bake ham & cheese personal pizza and onto a parma.

Okay, that last paragraph came off a bit harsh as I didn't really dislike this meal - It served its purpose and wasn't really that offensive, but it wasn't great. I'll just say this - when I'm cutting my parma and dipping it into tomato sauce, there is definitely something lacking in the flavour department.

The steak chips, on the other hand, were pretty good. Plenty of them, well salted with chicken salt and served with an aforementioned pot of tomato sauce (without having to ask, standard on the plate). These days I prefer a beer battered chip (I think we all do), but for what they were they did their job well.

Garden salad was pretty standard. The big four - Lettuce, tomato, onion and cucumber with a creamy dressing. Nothing bad, nothing good - it was fresh ... but very mid-range.

For $18 I'd probably give the University Hotel's parma a miss the next time around - Not that it was bad, but just up the road from this pub is Universal, which has a better parma, better chips, better salad and is $4 cheaper - I think that's check-mate. University Hotel does offer a $16 Pot & Parma night on Tuesdays which would be the only way I could ever put a recommendation on it.

Maybe I'm just getting grumpy in my old age as the other reviewers were a bit more positive in their scores and comments than I'm being, This review is coming off as far too harsh, so I'll reiterate - It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great.

If you're a die-hard Carlton supporter and want to see where it all began then definitely stick your head into The University - Grab a pint of beer and take in the room - If you want to give the parma a crack while you're there you won't be too disappointed, but you won't be blown away either.

I said at the end of our Universal review that they set the bar high for parmas on Lygon Street - The University Hotel has managed to limbo under it.

[pros]

• Surprisingly good range of beers
• chicken salted, sauce included chips

[/pros][cons]

• Thin/dry parma
• Processed toppings

[/cons]

Parma - 5.50

Chips - 6.40

Salad - 5.00

Value - 6.40

Total - 5.76

The search continues...

Attempt #219 - 'Rozzi's Italian Canteen'

[info]When? - 9th of April, 2015

Where? - Highpoint Shopping Centre, Rosamond Rd. Maribyrnong

Price? - $22.90

Website? - http://www.rozzis.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo, Tony [/info]

A cafe at a shopping centre?

Normally I wouldn't look at a place like Rozzi's twice. It feels more like a spot you would stop at to grab a coffee and maybe a chocolate chip muffin for your walk between Kookai and Forever New (for this hypothetical I'm assuming you're a 2o year old girl). It just doesn't feel like a place where you'd stop for a parma and a few beers.

But then, as of a couple of weeks ago, I started seeing some very interesting pictures popping up on the various social media sites. Pictures of a damn tasty looking, topping laden parma with chunky, delicious looking chips and a tantalising greek salad. On at least four occasions over the past fortnight different pictures of the same parma kept crossing my path, and every time the same name was attached - Rozzi's at Highpoint.

Now there are other Rozzi's locations around Melbourne, according to their website they have spots at Chadstone, Epping Plaza, Greensborough Plaza, Fountain Gate and Craigieburn. Basically they've got the shopping centres covered. Now this review is for the Highpoint location so I can't officially speak to the quality of the others ... but you'd think they'd be pretty similar. A quarter pounder tastes the same at every McDonalds.

The Rozzi's at Highpoint is relatively new. Part of the latest renovations it's, if you know Highpoint, between the new supermarket and that dumpling place thats always ridiculously busy (seriously, if you're in a queue 30 people deep for dumplings you may have to re-assess your life choices). Half of the tables are inside the store, half are out in the general walkway and there is an outdoor eating area just on the other side - It was a lovely night so we pulled up a chair at the outside area.

We grabbed a menu, spied our target for the evening...

... And placed our order at the bar.

The beer selection advertised on Rozzi's website is pretty impressive for a cafe, however in reality the selection was limited to bottles of Asahii, Peroni and one or two less notable choices. Looks like Asahii was the drink of choice for the evening.

After about half an hour of waiting our parmigianas started filing out of the kitchen...

Looking good!

The schnitzel was both great and its biggest failing. Rozzi's parma uses real, unprocessed, pure white, thick chicken breast. It was juicy, tasty and big enough that you won't be walking away hungry. However (and this is the whole dishes biggest failing) the crumbs were burnt. Not just a little crispy, burnt burnt, and all five parmas that we received were the same ... and come to think of it the photos I saw leading up to the meal also showed signs of char.

Amazingly though, it didn't kill the dish. Yes there was a slight ash-y taste occasionally, but the meal was so smothered in amazing toppings it wasn't as big of a deal as you would expect.

First up, the napoli was fresh, chunky, applied liberally and carried a fantastic, rich flavour. They weren't tight with the ham in the slightest - lashings of flavoursome shaved ham coated this parma from side to side, all held together with a hearty layer of grilled-to-perfection cheese.

Flavour-wise this parma reminded me a lot of our first trip to the Portland Hotel, even down to the wooden board for presentation - I would not be surprised at all if I heard that Rozzi's got their inspiration for this parma from the Portland.

The chips were phenomenal. If I didn't know any better I'd say these were Bad Boy Chips, actually, looking at them again now I'd say there is a very high possibility that these are bad boys. As the parmas were dropped off the waiter asked if we would like any tomato sauce or aioli, we obliged and were presented with four pots of dipping sauce (two tomato, two aioli) which brought these bad boys to life. My only (extremely minor) criticism would be that they lacked a bit of salt, and I could not see any salt shakers on our or any of the nearby tables.

Kicking goals again, the Rozzi's parma was accompanied by a chock-full greek salad. We had lettuce, we had olives, we had capsicum, tomato, cucumber, onion AND we had feta cheese. They say the way to a man's heart is through is stomach - well the way to my heart is to put cheese in my salad. A fitting accompaniment to a damn good meal.

For $22.90 I was pretty happy with the parma that we received, especially considering the location (with big meals at a cafe usually being much pricier than the same deal at a pub). The option of a tap beer rather than a pricey stubby would have been appreciated, but again, considering where they are, thats a pretty big ask. I was more than happy to pay the price for this parma and I would have no qualms checking it out again the next time I'm dress shopping with the wife.

The Rozzi's parma had one failing - It was burnt. Despite still being a great meal I can't help but feel that if it wasn't burnt we'd be looking at a new entry in the top ten. Maybe we got a bad batch and you'll get a non-burnt, amazing parma when you try it - or maybe you'll get one equally as charred. Either way it's worth a crack, Definitely the best you'll get at Highpoint anyway.

[pros]

• Plentiful, flavoursome toppings
• Amazing chips
• Quality salad

[/pros][cons]

• Burnt schnitzel

[/cons]

Parma - 7.70

Chips - 8.20

Salad - 7.30

Value - 7.40

Total - 7.66

The search continues...

Special Attempt - 'The Racecourse Hotel for the Good Friday Appeal'

[info]When? - 2nd of April, 2015

Where? The Racecourse Hotel, 895 Dandenong Rd. Malvern East

Price? - $25 Charity event special

Website? http://www.racecoursehotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Emma, Lee, Nikki & Tim [/info]

Happy Easter everyone!

Now you're all most likely out enjoying the long weekend and not reading about chicken parmas, but this is just a quick update on what we got up to last night.

A few weeks back I heard that both The Racecourse Hotel and The Rosstown hotel were putting on a special event - $25 for a parma and pot from 12 - 9 on Thursday April 2nd, with 100% of the profits going directly to the Royal Children's Hospital Good Friday Appeal.

This is an idea I was more than happy to throw my full support behind - I wouldn't be alive without The Royal Children's, so I know first hand of all the good they do.

So last night we loaded up the parma bus and headed out to Malvern East, to the Racecourse Hotel.

Now I'm not listing this as an official attempt as it was a one-day thing, so if anything this is more to raise awareness and give some props to a couple of pubs that did a really cool thing.

We sat down at the table and were greeted by our first Easter surprise ...

Such a cool little touch.

The pub was packed with hungry parma lovers, which gave me the warm & fuzzies. Full details of the event were attached to the front of the menu -

Sounds good to me! we placed our orders and waited for the meals to arrive.

Beer list at the Racecourse is pretty standard, nothing to write home about, but including Little Creatures as the free pot was definitely appreciated.

Shortly after we ordered the parmas arrived ...

I was so glad that they didn't cheap out for the parma deal. Real chicken breast with perfectly cooked crumbs that had an amazing crunch. The schnitzel was big, thick and a great foundation for the meal.

The toppings were also pretty good. The inclusion of ham was greatly appreciated and very flavoursome. The napoli was fine (could have used a little more coverage) and the mozzarella was melted to perfection.

The chips were your standard store-bought beer battered oven chips - The lack of salad meant there were heaps of them, and they were perfectly cooked and seasoned (I didn't realise just how well seasoned they were and proceeded to add salt myself ... my bad)

As I said there was no salad included in the dish, it was available for an extra charge but we chose not to partake.

Even if it wasn't for charity I'd be happy with the parma at The Racecourse - It has just rocketed up our list of parmas to try, as I am very keen to go back and check out how it does in a non-special situation.

As I said this was just a quick review to shine some light on folks that went above and beyond to help those in need, the parma wasn't perfect (although it was damn good) but I'm trying not to criticise too much, as it's all for a good cause.  It was a great initiative that I was glad to be a part of.

Have a great long weekend - Back to regular business next week!

The Other Daze - 'Dinner at Demazzi's'

[info]When? - 31st of March, 2015

Where? - 4/1142 Mount Alexander rd, Essendon North

Website? - http://www.demazzi.com.au/

[/info]

Lets cut right to it - Demazzi's would have to be one of my favourite spots in the Essendon area. We've done a review of the parma in the past - but last night the glorious weather inspired Reviewer Nikki (my partner in crime) and myself to stop in for a quick dinner in the sun.

I mentioned it briefly in the parma review, but Demazzi's signature "thing" is stonegrill, wherein your steak is delivered to your table raw, sitting atop a slab volcanic stone heated to 550 degrees, which you proceed to cook yourself while sitting at the table. It's kind've a novelty, a bit of fun, but there's something fantastic about every mouthful of a steak remaining piping hot from start to finish as if you're eating it directly off the barbecue (which you essentially are).

My one issue with stonegrill is that its work at a time you want to be relaxed. Kind've like the difference between driving yourself or calling an Uber - sure driving can be fun, but sometimes you just want to kick back, enjoy the ride and have all the work done for you. I was in one of these moods last night, so when we arrived at Demazzi's last night I decided to explore some of the other non-stonegrill menu options.

After a recent management change the once bloated multi-page menu has been slimmed down to a two-sided single page - They've trimmed the fat and left a lean, easy to digest selection, First up is the non-stonegrill stuff -

Followed by the stonegrill selections -

Reviewer Nikki went stonegrill and decided on the aged eye fillet, while I landed on the Philly cheese steak burger. The Louisiana spiced crispy chicken burger sounded damn tempting, but I just cannot stomach chicken thigh meat so decided to stick to the safer option (and lets face it, meat coated with cheese is kind've my thing).

The beer list isn't too adventurous. All bottled, but enough to satisfy most palates -

I decided on a Little Creatures. We ordered our meals, kicked back in the sun and took in the scenery of all the almost car accidents at the Mount rd/Keilor rd roundabout. Seeing as the restaurant was relatively quiet (we were there at 5:30) and they don't actually need to cook the steaks, our food was out insanely quickly...

First up, Nikki's stonegrill looked on point -

When the waitress tells you the plate is hot ... she really means it.

The trick with stonegrill is you need to get a bit of a construction line going - Cut off a few slices and let them sizzle away on the plate for a minute, when the one you put on the grill first is ready to go, thats when you cut the new piece off the slab and get that going.

I stole a couple of dips of the mushroom sauce with my chips and it was also damn tasty - rich, creamy and not tight on the pieces of freshly sliced mushroom throughout.

But enough about food that I didn't eat ... on to the cheese steak!

I really enjoyed this dish. The steak was plentiful and oh-so-tender. The cheese was gooey, flavourful and everywhere. It was topped with a creamy mayonnaise that was pretty much a house-made replica of Big Mac sauce and again, worked well with the rest of the elements.

The coleslaw was crisp and fresh and complimented the dish also. I'm normally not a huge fan of brioche - I could take it or leave it over a normal burger bun, but in this case the sweetness wasn't overpowering at all. It was very lightly toasted with just the right amount of crunch - It all just worked. 

Oh and I didn't mention the pickles as I'm not really a pickle-fan, they were promptly picked off and handed over to the wife.

The chips were fantastic. Well cooked, served in a separate fryer basket and dusted liberally with chicken salt and herbs. A great accompaniment for a great meal.

When I went off-stonegrill for my menu selection last night I was a little worried, especially when the eye fillet hit the table I definitely felt a twang of food envy - but all my fears were allayed when I bit into the cheese steak, and I definitely feel that $19.90 is a reasonable price for what I got (deliciousness for under twenty bucks? No problems there) It was a fantastic dinner that I'd definitely get again ... If I have the will to resist the stonegrill a second time.

And now for a smidge of non-review stuff...

Thanks for reading to the end of a review! You, my friend, are made of awesome.

If you're not doing anything tomorrow for lunch or dinner (Thursday April 2nd) then consider getting down to either The Racecourse Hotel or The Rosstown Hotel. Both pubs are hosting a charity event from 12 noon till 9pm on Thursday wherein 100% of the profits from every $25 'parma n pot' deal sold is going straight to the Good Friday Appeal... This isn't a small donation per parma sold, this is all $25 for every parma n pot sold straight to help kids in need.

I had no hand in organising this event, but I wouldn't be here without the Royal Children's, so I'm doing my darndest to get the word out. We will be at The Racecourse enjoying a parma on Thursday night ... hope to see you there!

Attempt #218 - 'Fredricks'

[info]When? - 26th of March, 2015

Where? - 980 Mount Alexander Rd. Essendon

Price? - $10 parma Thursdays ($12 with Salad)

Website? - http://www.fredricksrestaurant.com.au/

Reviewers – Cale, Fridge, Grace, Hayden, Lee, Nikki, Stefo, Tony [/info]

When picking the location for parma reviews each week I try to be pretty balanced. I do my best to pick well known, interesting spots that aren't too close together on consecutive weeks - Just so everyone feels like they're getting a turn.

This week I was selfish. It was a parma review at a spot I'm guessing 95% of you are currently saying "Where the hell is that?" but since they started advertising it I knew I had to know what the parma at Fredricks was like, due to my own morbid curiosity ... I just had to know.

In the middle of Essendon, just after you pass the train station on Mount Alexander Road is Fredricks. For as long as I can remember Fredricks has been the function room attached to the Best Western Alexander Motor Inn, and has garnered a bit of fame in the area for their monthly over 28's single's nights.  I'd never been inside the doors myself however, on the way to a different parma a few weeks ago, I spotted this...

Despite their horrible choice of a grunge-style font for the words "Thursday Nights" my interest was piqued, it took a few weeks to convince everyone else that it was a good idea to hit up Freddies, but last night that is exactly what we did.

Walking into Fredricks I was expecting an empty room ... imagine my surprise when the place was a flurry of activity, For a moment I was unsure we would be able to secure a table, but after some quick re-arranging from the very friendly staff they managed to squeeze us in.

If your group of friends has gone through their run of 18th's, 21st's or engagement parties then you've most likely been in a room like Fredricks. Its your standard function room with bar up one end, dance floor up the other and a massive accordion-style door at the halfway point to divide the room should there be two parties on at once - The white tablecloth laden tables were pleasant enough, I just wish they had've opened up the blinds while we were there - Sure the weather was sucky but I'd like to be able to know if it's night or day while I'm enjoying my meal, having them closed felt like I was eating in a casino.

I glanced at the menu and noticed that there are some non-parma special parmas available at other times...

Twice the price as what we were paying, but a couple of novelty options thrown in for good measure.

But screw that! We're in for parma night - We ordered our meals and stumbled upon the first caveat: Salad is extra. The parma special is just parma and chips with salad or veggies copping a $2 surcharge. Fair enough, we like salad so we all fished around in our pockets for some spare change and chucked in a salad, bringing the grand total up to $12 for the meal. We ordered our meals, kept one eye on the cricket, and awaited their arrival.

The selection of beers was quite limited - no taps available our options were stubbies of Carlton, VB, Crownies, Guinness ... I think I saw a Boags... you get the idea. Stubby of Crown rang up at $6 even.

After about one beer's wait the parmas started arriving from the kitchen...

Chicken thickness varied from plate-to-plate, with mine (pictured) being at about mid-range. It wasn't the best quality schnitzel we've had (the shape of mine was the very definition of "heart shaped schnitzel"), the crumbs had some padding to them, but it didn't feel like they were trying to hide anything. It was competently cooked with no sign of burnt edges.

The toppings that we had were decent, but I would have loved a slice of ham. It's not uncommon for discount parmas to forego the ham - and if the parma is good enough on its own I don't miss it too much ... but I think a slice of ham would've really helped this one along.

The cheese was fine, nothing really to report. The napoli was probably the best part of the dish - liberally applied, fresh and flavourful, the napoli really helped boost this dish from "mediocre" to "not terrible"

Apologies for the shadow, down lights are a pain the the ass!

The chips were okay but I would have loved more of them - the small handful we got wasn't nearly enough and if we hadn't paid extra for the side salad I would've been annoyed and walking away hungry.

For the extra two bucks they sure squeezed a lot into that little salad bowl. Chock-full of ingredients (the olives were particularly tasty), but it was a tad divisive on the level of dressing used - I love a lot of dressing, and this salad was swimming in it ... so I enjoyed it, but others around the table who aren't as dressing-mad as I weren't as pleased ... personal preference I suppose.

If I was stuck at Fredricks on a Thursday night I'd have the parma again - it definitely exceeded the expectations my mind had set for it. Had I paid the full price of $21 I would have been less impressed (although I get the feeling that the full price parma is different to the discount one, as the menu lists the full price version with a slice of ham). As far as discount parmas go it was okay - If we're looking at the Essendon area we've paid twice as much for a parma at least twice as shitty, so I'd happily return to Fredricks than go back there any day.

If you're after a quick, cheap parma fix then Fredricks just might have what you're after - if you want anything more than that you'll probably be disappointed. It was better than I expected, but my expectations were damn low going in.

If you've read this far I thank you for indulging me in reading a review for a place you'll probably never visit, next week it'll be a place a little more well known, I swear!

[pros]

• Cheap
• Tasty, plentiful napoli

[/pros][cons]

• Not nearly enough chips
• Sub-par schnitzel quality

[/cons]

Parma - 5.58

Chips - 4.81

Salad - 4.88

Value - 7.69

Total - 5.71

The search continues...

Attempt #217 - 'The Esplanade Hotel'

[info]When? - 19th of March, 2015

Where? - 11 The Esplanade, St. Kilda

Price? - $19.50

Website? - http://espy.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo[/info]

In any conversation you have about Melbourne's live music scene The Esplanade Hotel is sure to come up. In fact, I bet if I Google "Melbourne's best live music venue's" the first article I find will mention the Espy ... Hold on ... Yes and yes.

It's a pub that I have long considered doing, and last week when I asked around the review team if they would be keen to go, the most popular response by far was "We haven't done the Espy yet?!" It seemed like an obvious one, one we should've done in the first month, let alone on our five year anniversary (Oh, and in case you missed it, this week marks 5 years of ParmaDaze being a thing. Woo!)

So we didn't waste any more time - Last night we loaded up the parma bus and headed to St. Kilda Esplanade and the jewel in her crown - The Esplanade Hotel.

The Espy just screams "live music venue". Gig posters everywhere, black painted walls, torn & mismatched furniture and musical equipment being loaded in and out constantly (either that or someone was just stealing drum sets and we did nothing to stop him).

There's a couple of pool tables and arcade machines out the back of the main bar if you're so inclined, but for our parma we opted to eat downstairs, in the cosy Espy Kitchen. There were menus on the tables upstairs so I assume the food menu is also available up there - but I can't be sure.

We found our table, grabbed the menu and spied our target for the evening -

We ordered our parmas and a beverage. Beer selection is pretty grim in the Kitchen, if you aren't happy with Pure Blonde, Draught, VB, Fat Yak or Cascade you're going to struggle. I ordered a pint of Pure Blonde but was reminded (I've been here before, but always in a much less sober state than I was last night) that they don't serve pints at the Espy, only pots or jugs.

We grabbed our pots and returned to the table. Our very sticky table that was in desperate need of a wipe down. Something about the Espy wasn't filling me with confidence that this was going to be good, I was mentally preparing myself for heart shaped processed crap - Which was why, 10 minutes later when these parmas fell to the table, I was in shock...

Holy crap these parmas looked good! Not to mention damn photogenic, the photos came out great. Which is why you're probably going to have a hard time believing me when I say they were quite a let down.

Cannot fault their use of real chicken breast, not a piece of processed crap in sight, it was real, thick, chicken breast - kudos on them for that. But there was a lot of nude schnitzel around the edges, which I can forgive at times if the schnitzel can hold its own without the toppings - this one didn't. It was as bland as cardboard, and very dry. The crumbs were an odd mixture of both crunchy and soggy and were in desperate need of a bit of seasoning - everyone at the table reached for the salt & pepper shakers straight away.

The toppings weren't much better. I had to check and see if the ham was there as I just couldn't taste it, the napoli wasn't pure tomato paste, but also didn't add much to the dish. The cheese was actually pretty good, kept its consistency well and grilled to perfection.

Don't get me wrong, the parma was edible, but it was like someone had sucked all of the flavour out of the dish, every bite was just more and more nothingness. I will say that the thickness of the chicken definitely helped, I struggled to finish the whole thing - it'd be hard to walk away from this one still hungry.

A bit of a spoiler for the salad section next, but the chips were the best thing on the plate. Beer battered, crunchy on the outside, pillowy potato inside - This is how I like my chips and they nailed it. My only criticism is that I wanted more, that might just be me being greedy but I felt like I could do with at least another half-handful. Other than that a sauce or aioli pot would've taken these boys to the top.

Like the parma, the salad was quite "meh". Garden salad of lettuce, tomato, cucumber and onion tossed through some balsamic. It served its purpose and I appreciated the separate bowl, just nothing to write home about.

For $19.50 I wouldn't be rushing out to have this parma again, The price is reasonable but the flavour just isn't there. However the Espy does run a $14 parma night on Mondays with novelty toppings - I think this would be the only way I'd recommend it, because if you took the parma we had, throw some hot salami and jalapenos on top and you'd get the whack of flavour this parma so desperately needed. That'd be my recommendation - Worth a crack on parma night if you get it with novelty toppings.

This parma was a roller coaster of emotions. I was excited, then worried, then excited again, then let down, then there were tasty chips, then there was a bland parma. It was all over the shop.

One thing you can't fault the Espy on though - It's still an amazing live music venue, an icon of Melbourne and its definitely worth checking out just for that, I just wish they'd start stocking bloody pint glasses.

[pros]

• Great chips
• Thick, unprocessed chicken breast

[/pros][cons]

• Flavourless, bland schnitzel
• Flavourless, bland toppings.

[/cons]

Parma - 4.25

Chips - 7.00

Salad - 4.88

Value - 4.50

Total - 4.98

The search continues...

The Other Daze - 'Breakfast at Arbory'

[info]When? - 15th of March, 2015

Where? - Flinders Walk, Melbourne

Website? - http://arbory.com.au/

[/info]

It may surprise you to know, my dear reader, that I don't indulge in a parma for every meal of the week (a shocking revelation, I know, someone call TMZ). I enjoy a lot of food at other spots that aren't parmas which I have always wanted to share yet have felt bound by the unwritten laws of ParmaDaze to only write about chicken, chips and salad. Well its time for this chicken to spread his wings.

So lets consider this an experiment, this may be the start of a new era for the site, it may be the last time you ever see an "Other Daze" post, as Einstein said in the opening cutscene for Command & Conquer: Red Alert - "Time will tell".

Oh and before we get started I want to make it perfectly clear that these posts, whenever they turn up, will not affect the weekly parma review. You'll still get a full review of a new parma each and every week as usual. This isn't a replacement, its an added extra. Anyway, I've blathered on long enough - On to the good stuff!

I had heard about Arbory a couple of weeks back when friend of the site Jimmies Burgers posted a photo of this amazing looking burger. I looked into the pub in the hopes that there would be a new parma for us to try (there isn't, FYI) and my curiosity was instantly piqued. Built on flinders walk, between the station and the river, running the entire span between the St. Kilda Rd. bridge and the footbridge with all the padlocks on it (the one that Nicholas Cage rode his flaming motorbike over in the first Ghost Rider movie).

After reading about the pub I wanted to check it out, and attempted to stop in for a quick pint before last week's parma review at P.J. O'Briens, directly across the river, but was met with two of the most depressing words a pub enthusiast can hear. Private function. 

So I left it and forgot about it for a few days, until I was in the city on Sunday morning and found myself with the need to kill an hour. It was slightly too early for a beer (although a few blokes I spied at Young & Jacksons on the way past didn't think so) so I decided to kill two birds with one stone - get my brekky on and finally see what all the fuss is about at Arbory.

First up - The use of the space is just plain genius. Yes the pub is narrow, but at no point did I feel cramped. The sound of the trains chugging through the station is almost therapeutic, and the unfettered view of the river is just remarkable.

It was getting close to 10:30 on Sunday morning, and while there were a few people enjoying breakfast it was by no means busy. There was a chill in the air but you wouldn't notice with the abundance of patio heaters, almost one per table.

On wandering up to the bar to order I instantly regretted not visiting a bit later in the day as the bar setup is impressive, with a great range of both tapped and bottled beers. Unfortunately I swapped out my alcohol addiction for my caffeine addiction, ordered a cappuccino and had a quick squiz at the breakfast menu -

I was eating with devoted ParmaDaze regular Reviewer Nikki, she ordered the Mozzarella & Bacon Toastie while I chose the lighter option and went with the Coconut Bircher Muesli. We retuned to our table and soaked in the serenity while awaiting our breakfast.

The cappuccino was fine - I'm not jumping up and down about it but it certainly did its job - I normally like my coffee served a tad hotter than what this was, but thats a personal preference that I can't judge Arbory for. Shortly afterwards the main event arrived -

^ Mozzarella and bacon toastie with fried egg and tomato relish

^ Coconut bircher muesli with vanilla macerated pineapple, coconut nectar & pecans

Instant food envy the moment the dishes hit the table - That toastie looked sublime, and even though the muesli was quite tasty in its own right its hard to go past a bacon and cheese sandwich.

And they weren't tight with the bacon! Generous lashing after lashing filled the sandwich. The egg on top was appreciated but seemed a bit confused - are you supposed to eat it with a knife and fork off the top? to eat it like a sandwich with the egg still on board? or open up the sandwich and slip the egg inside? (the latter being what Nikki ended up doing).

The muesli was great also. The macerated pineapple was sliced so thinly it was almost shaved. I've never been a big fan of pineapple but I think its only because I've only ever had it served in massive chunks - this was the perfect way to enjoy it, adding a subtle and not at all overpowering flavour to the dish. I was also a big fan of the pecans, adding a much enjoyed crunch to the texture of the meal.

And that's all she wrote! I was a massive fan of Arbory and will definitely be back. I'm very keen to drop in and enjoy a few beers on a Saturday or Sunday arvo before the sunny days disappear for the year (and to try those amazing looking burgers).

If you're in the city it's definitely worth a shot (They're open every day from 7:30 if you feel like checking it out) - I've got a feeling Arbory will fast become one of my favourite spots in the CBD. Now we just need them to get a parma on the menu.

Attempt #216 - 'P.J. O'Brien's - Southbank'

[info]When? - 12th of March, 2015

Where? - Southgate restaurant & Shopping precinct, Southbank.

Price? - $19.50

Website? - http://www.pjobriens.com.au/southbank/

Reviewers – Lee, Matt, Nikki, Shanan, Stefo, Tony[/info]

Our relationship with Irish pubs can best be described as "turbulent". We've had the good, we've had the bad, and we've had the ugly (and I know Elephant & Wheelbarrow is technically an English pub, but for the sake of argument I'm lumping them in the "faux United Kingdom style pub" category). Yes there have been one or two anomalies but in general the parmas at Irish pubs have been pretty mediocre across the board.

One time I remember being surprised at the quality of a parma at an Irish Pub was when we visited the P.J. O'Brien's at Melbourne Airport. It was a solid bird let down by disappointing sides, and far better than anything I would have expected to come out of a pub within an airport. Since that day part of me has always wondered "If the mini P.J's at the airport can produce something semi decent, surely the actual P.J's would be far better!

With St. Patricks day on Tuesday next week (aka. the most inconvenient day of the week to get drunk) we decided to kick things off a little early last night, so we loaded up the parma bus and headed to P.J. O'Brien's, Southbank.

If you've been into an Irish Pub in Melbourne then you pretty much know the deal at PJ's. Dark wood, dark furniture, random farming equipment strung up to the walls. There is a more sophisticated restaurant off the side of the main bar, but we decided to slum it and took our seats in one of the cosy snug's of the main area.

The beer selection is pretty bleak, if you're after anything fancier than a Fat Yak you're out of luck. Having said that, P.J's pours one of the prettiest pints of Guinness I have seen in my life - absolutely beautiful and a must try if you're a fan of the dark stuff.

Beers in hand we took a look at the menu -

If you're feeling like something a little off the wall there's also an "Irish Schnitzel" available, which is a schnitty with curry sauce - However the 6 of us remained traditional and went with the standard parma.

20 or so minutes later our meals arrived -

The schnitzel itself was probably the weakest part of the dish. Thick crumbs, thin chicken, the usual processed nonsense. It was cooked well, with no burnt or undercooked areas, however  around the table it was likened to a giant chicken nugget, not a parma. Unfortunately P.J's was not off to a great start.

The toppings were a mixed bag. They weren't tight with the ham and (although there wasn't 100% coverage) there was plenty of cheese that did its job just fine. The napoli wasn't applied evenly, leaving some areas bone dry and others swimming, but the sauce itself tasted like straight leggo's tomato paste.

Chips were also very "meh". Decent serving but they were completely unseasoned - They were saved from being totally beige by the addition of an unsolicited sauce pot for dipping. Sauce pots are a small, easy touch that is greatly appreciated, especially when you don't even have to ask.

The salad, like the chips, was also not winning any awards. Your standard garden salad of lettuce, onion, cucumber and tomato (although some of us got a lot of tomato, others got none). It was fresh, crisp and didn't taste bad at all - but it was a boring side to accompany a pretty boring meal.

If P.J. O'Brien's ran a special parma night and served up the bird they did with a pot? I could probably forgive a lot of the sins this parma was guilty of - but $19.50 and no parma nights that I can see isn't great for what we received.

I like P.J's, It's got a good vibe, and if I lived anywhere in the area I'd probably be dropping in on Tuesday night for a pint in the name of Saint Patrick. Don't ask me why but it reminds me of a pub you'd find in a Casino in Las Vegas (I think its the lack of windows). Dinner in the snug was a great way to enjoy a meal with mates - I just wish the parma had've been better. Other than the processed schnitzel no element of the dish was bad, it was just bland as hell without any standout elements. If they took a hint from their brothers in Tullamarine and used a real piece of chicken I'd have a lot less to complain about, but as it stands I'd rather visit the airport P.J's for a parma as opposed to the Southbank location.

[pros]

• Plenty of ham
• They know how to pour a great pint of Guinness
• Unsolicited sauce pots

[/pros][cons]

• Processed chicken
• Mediocre toppings
• Mediocre everything.

[/cons]

Parma - 3.67

Chips - 4.92

Salad - 4.00

Value - 4.50

Total - 4.15

The search continues...

Attempt #215 - 'The Elms Family Hotel'

[info]When? - 5th of March, 2015

Where? - 269 Spring St. Melbourne

Price? - $17

Website? - http://www.elmshotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Daniel, Emma, Lee, Matt[/info]

**EDIT**14/06/16 - Since this review went live the Elms Family Hotel has closed its doors due to the block being developed into apartments, This parma is no longer available but we'll keep the review live for posterity - A shame that we lost one of Melbourne's most unique pubs.

Here's a bit of troubling news about our search for the perfect parma - We're running out of pubs in the city. It's nothing to be too worried about, our "parmas to try" list is still over 100 pubs long, but of that list only  about five are in what I'd consider to be in the CBD. Sure new pubs are opening every day, there are probably heaps I don't know about and there are always redo's - but its still kinda troubling!

So when I had a hankering to head into the city for parma night this week pickings were slim, but after a bit of time on google maps I spied our target - Elms Family Hotel.

The pubs website doesn't give much away in terms of what to expect when walking into The Elms, So we were really going in blind on this one. Upon entering the pub I was absolutely floored. I've said in previous reviews of pubs around Melbourne that the venue is "like a country pub", but Elms Family Hotel absolutely takes the cake.

I honestly don't know how this pub has survived so untouched in so long. It's a complete anomaly, Elms Family Hotel looks like it hasn't had a thing changed about it since the mid 60's (with the exception of a couple of new TV's). I'm not saying its a bad thing, I love it, its just so surreal being able to sit in a pub and forget you're in the middle of Melbourne. You could just as easily be in Mildura and not be able to tell the difference.

The selection of beers are exactly what you'd expect from a country pub, just the staples - VB, Carlton and I think I saw a Fat Yak tap. There was a fridge with a small selection of bottles and Crown Lager stubbies were on special for $6 - It may have been a small selection but every pint they pulled was ice cold and delicious. It's also worth mentioning that there is a cosy smokers area/beer garden out the back and some tables & chairs on the street for curbside bevvies.

We ordered our parmas at the kitchen window and moved around the corner to the spacious bistro.

That's a grab of the menu from the website - note that since the site was updated the price of the parma has raised to $17.00. Damn inflation!

The parmas arrived quickly - no more than 10 minutes after we ordered we were presented with our meals...

The schnitz was probably the weakest part of the dish, It had a decent circumference but the chicken was quite thin with a thick layer of crumbs. The crumbs had soaked up the majority of the napoli sauce leaving them a bit of a soggy mess. It was processed to the max, but on the plus side it was well cooked. Golden brown and not burnt.

As I mentioned 90% of the napoli was soaked into the crumbs, so I didn't really get to taste it.

There was no ham but plenty of cheese - Which was probably the best element of the parma - It was cooked perfectly and stayed un-rubbery the entire meal.

Props to The Elms for serving their chips beside the parma. They were fish & chip shop style, well cooked and very well seasoned with chicken salt giving them a great flavour - The chips were probably my favourite thing on the plate

The garden salad was basic, but fresh and crisp - plenty of dressing and not short on ingredients. It was a little small but it did its job adequately.

$17 is a bit steep for a processed parma. I don't think I would partake again at full price. There is a $12 parma & pot lunch special on Monday to Wednesday, 12 till 2, That'd be the only time I could recommend giving it a crack for a quick & cheap feed.

I respect the hell out of The Elms Family Hotel for sticking to their guns and maintaining the "country pub" feel. I don't think any pub I have visited in Melbourne does it better. I hate giving pubs I like a bad review, but if you're ever in the area be sure to stop in for a beer and enjoy the trip back in time (no DeLorean required).

[pros]

• Fresh, crisp salad
• Delicious seasoning on the chips

[/pros][cons]

• Processed, soggy schnitzel
• No ham, undetectable napoli

[/cons]

Parma - 3.83

Chips - 4.33

Salad - 3.17

Value - 4.67

Total - 3.97

The search continues...

Attempt #214 - 'Junction Beer Hall & Wine Room'

[info]When? - 26th of February, 2015

Where? - 15 Hall St. Newport

Price? - $23

Website? - http://junctionnewport.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo[/info]

For parmas this week I opened up our map and thought to myself "where haven't we been", keeping an eye out for what I have dubbed "blackspots" - Suburbs in which we have yet to do a parma review.

For some reason my eye was drawn to the west of Melbourne. We've done a few in Williamstown, and a couple in Footscray, but there is a substantial gap in between. I checked the list of suggested parmas to see if we have any in that area that we haven't tried and...

I found the Junction Beer Hall.

I knew absolutely nothing about this pub going in, To be honest I hadn't even heard of the suburb of Newport before this week (I've lived a sheltered life, okay?). But looking at the website it seemed like my kind've place. We loaded up the parma bus, fired up google maps and headed to Newport.

If you frequent the trains on the Werribee or Williamstown lines you will know the Junction as the pub directly across the road from Newport Station. From outside it looks like your standard pub - but I was delighted to find that inside they've done a spectacular renovation, transforming this massive area into an impressive bar. With a beer hall on one side, a gorgeous courtyard in the middle and a calm, elegant wine bar. The night we were there was the Beer Banter special event, so we opted to have our parmas in the comfy and spacious booths of the more subdued wine room.

We quickly checked the menu, spied our target -

... and placed our order.

Shortly after ordering we were delivered some piping hot baguette slices for the table - off to a fantastic start.

Now the beer list in the main bar is phenomenal. 18 rotating craft beers on tap and a book of over 70 local and international beers by the stubby. In the wine room things are a little more focussed on (you guessed it...) the wine list, with only a few tap beers available (Some selections from the Two Birds range was on tap the night we ate. Bantam IPA and Sunset ale if memory serves - no complaints here). The food menu is the same between rooms.

We polished off the complimentary baguette and flatbread with tzatziki entree, both delicious. Shorty after that the main event arrived from the kitchen -

As soon as it hit the table I knew it was going to be quality. Every schnitzel around the table was uniquely shaped so you know its real chicken. The breast was thick and crispy and the crumbs carried a perfect crunch. Some parts of the chicken were slightly dry - but thats a very minor complaint.

What it lacked in circumference it more than made up for in thickness, this was a deceptively big bird that left nobody at the table hungry. When it comes to schnitzels this parma was ready to play with the big boys.

The toppings were solid. The mozzarella was on point and the ham carried a fantastic flavour that wasn't lost in the dish (although the menu on their website advertises prosciutto, which was missed, that needs an update).

The napoli was rich and flavoursome but it wasn't very well distributed on the schnitzels, some areas were dry while others were swimming in a saucy pool. A bit of consistency would've been great.

This is how you should do chips. A massive serving of beer battered beauties, cooked to crunchy perfection and not being smothered by the parma. They could've used a tad more seasoning but salt pots on the table made short work of that issue - If they had've served them with a pot of aioli or sauce on the side it would've put them over the edge.

The salad was perfectly serviceable, but probably the weakest part of the dish. Leafy greens in a tasty dressing. I enjoy onion in my salad and I only got a single sliver while others got more, so luck of the draw on that one. Everything was fresh, it just didn't wow me like the rest of the meal did. Nothing bad, but nothing amazing.

I'd gladly fork our $23 for this parma again, no question whatsoever. Checking their website there is currently no regular parma night listed, but to be honest I wouldn't need one. This parma gets my seal of approval, and its definitely worth putting on your list.

The Junction was an unexpected surprise, A pub for beer lovers by beer lovers. I wouldn't pick such a great craft beer spot to be nestled out in Newport of all places - Yet we have stumbled upon what I'd call the best craft beer spot in West Melbourne (that I have been to, please no angry emails). Do yourself a favour, dump the kids off at Scienceworks, and go check it out... Actually I take that back - Visit the Junction then go with your kids to Scienceworks. Scienceworks is a blast for all ages.

[pros]

• Amazing quality schnitzel, great tasting parma
• Fantastic beer battered chips
• Great range of craft beers

[/pros][cons]

• Parma could be a little dry at times, poor napoli distribution

[/cons]

Parma - 8.75

Chips - 8.38

Salad - 6.50

Value - 7.25

Total - 7.93

The search continues...

Attempt #213 - 'The Gasometer Hotel'

[info]When? - 19th of February, 2015

Where? - 484 Smith St. Collingwood

Price? - $24

Website? - http://www.thegasometerhotel.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Stefo[/info]

I've passed the Gasometer a few times and its always intrigued me. I can't quite say why it was at the top of our list this week, it just was.

The Gaso has a bit of a history. After it opened originally as The Gasometer it became Father Flanagan's, an Irish pub (and you can tell, a lot of the aesthetic of the front bar screams "Irish Pub"). In around 2010 it became the Gasometer again but the menu took on a very "American" theme, a bit of a trendsetter as these days you can't swing a cat in Melbourne without hitting an American themed pub... Until about 2013, when they famously shut down due to being unable to pay the beer bill. But the Gaso is back! The menu still has a bit of an American bent, some Aussie pub staples have creeped their way back onto the menu, one of which is the parma...

The Gasometer has a great atmosphere, with open fireplaces, exposed brick, stone and wood (the building materials, not the beer ... although they do have the beer on tap) and a lot of little nooks and crannies to get lost in, not to mention a massive live music area out the back which was getting set up for a gig while we were there. If you're a regular reader you'll already know that this is how I like my pubs. We took a seat in the front dining area, checked the menu and ordered our birds.

Behind the bar there was an impressive range of taps. Other than the aforementioned Stone & Wood there were (at least) eight taps of different craft beers to sample (most from the Thunder Road Brewing Company lineup) - more than enough to keep a connoisseur happy for an evening.

At pretty much 30 minutes on the dot our parmas arrived from the kitchen...

Damn they looked good when they first dropped on the table, the barely-pounded chicken breast and abundance of shaved ham reminded me a lot of last year's Best New Parma winner, The Wolf & I. We quickly picked up our cutlery and tucked in. It was in the first mouthful that we all noticed what will be the most discussed point of this parma ... the flavour of the crumbs.

They had a tang. A tang that tasted like liquorice, and it wasn't subtle, not at all - every bite was a liquorice-ey smack to the face. After a bit of investigation, we found the culprit, This seed -

These seeds were all through the crumbs. I initially thought they were dried aniseed seeds, but after a bit of discussion on Reddit Melbourne it would seem that there are a lot of similar tasting seeds that look practically identical, the most likely suspects being -

... but whatever it was it completely overpowered the dish. The ham, the cheese, the napoli? All lost behind the punch of this seed. The first few bites I applauded them for trying something different, but by the halfway point I was well and truly over it. I give them points for trying something different, but I'm afraid this experiment has missed the mark entirely.

The chicken itself was phenomenal. Insanely thick and literally dripping with juice as you lifted it from the plate, while it didn't look huge on the plate its a deceptive one as I struggled to finish the whole thing.

The topping were also fantastic. There was so much shaved ham piled on top of the parma that it was almost as thick as the chicken - Unfortunately as I said, all the flavour was drowned out by the aniseed.

Just to see what it was like I peeled some of the ham, cheese and napoli off the chicken and tried them seperately. On its own the ham came to life, it carried a delicious smokey fresh-off-the-bone flavour that was just a delight. The napoli was slightly watery, but tasty and the cheese was grilled to perfection and added a lovely cheddar tang.

The chips were also pretty great. I was pleasantly surprised to receive proper chips as opposed to the "fries" advertised on the menu ( I was expecting Maccas chips). There was a hefty serving and they were well cooked, piping hot and perfectly seasoned (with bottles of tomato sauce available by the bar) - a delight.

The salad was also a bit of a unique experience - I don't think we've ever had bean shoots before. Consisting of lettuce, cucumber, sliced radish and bean shoots it was a fresh and crisp addition to the meal, Only lightly dressed but I don't think it needed anything more.

$24 is a little pricey in general, with but the quality of the chicken and abundance of toppings and sides I would be more than happy to pay that again. I couldn't see any parma night's advertised so I think the $24 will stick all week.

If it weren't for that damn seed in the crumbs I would be calling this parma an early favourite for Best New Parma of 2015 - However the liquorice punch absolutely murdered this dish. Saying that, I would still recommend checking it out, if you can overlook the aniseed flavour every other element of this parma was near perfect... definitely one to keep an eye on, and hopefully they come to their senses about that damn seed ... just look how thick this thing is -

[pros]

• Amazingly thick and juicy chicken breast
• Abundance of mouth-watering shaved ham
• Plenty of well seasoned and cooked chips
• Unique, fresh side salad

[/pros][cons]

• Aniseed-flavoured seed through the crumbs overpowered entire dish.

[/cons]

Parma - 7.13

Chips - 7.50

Salad - 6.75

Value - 6.75

Total - 7.05

The search continues...

Attempt #212 - 'Bridie O'Reilly's $4.50 parma special'

[info]When? - 11th of February, 2015

Where? 29 Sydney rd. Brunswick

Price? - $4.50 with drink purchase (Wednesday night special)

Website? - http://bridiesbrunswick.com.au/

Reviewers – Dale, Lee, Nikki[/info]

The day that Bridie's announced their $4.50 parma special was the day my inbox exploded. Not just my inbox, but I was inundated with messages on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram ... basically every form of social media we have (Bridies even sent me a flyer in the post about it after I wound up on their mailing list after their NYE party I found myself at this year).

Everyone seems to be talking about this thing. The Happiest Hour is abuzz, even Reddit Melbourne had an entire post full of heated discussion about the special.

It just seems too good to be true! What's the catch? We had to venture down and find out. Expectations were low. Very low. Surely for $4.50 it could not possibly be good ... right?

We arrived just before 7 to an already pretty packed pub. First up, completely ignore what it says about "No bookings necessary" on the above flyer, this place was already busy and got busier the longer we stayed - I'd say if you're going with a table of 4 or more it'd be wise to book, there were plenty of large "reserved" tables when we were there.

So the process is this - First up you need to order a drink to be eligible for the special. Any drink will do, I ordered a pint of draught for myself and a coke for Reviewer Nikki. We got our drinks and two "tickets" to take to the food service window and exchange for our order.

Now, things get a tad confusing here. On the Bridies latest Facebook post they mention that you now also need to sign up for the "Parma Club" to be eligible for the deal. It doesn't cost anything, just an online form. I did this before we left, only to not be questioned about signing up when I arrived, however when I ventured to the bar later I saw a girl with a clipboard signing people up on the spot. Looks like its a new system thats coming in - better to be safe than sorry, if you're venturing out I'd say signing up is a good idea.

We ordered our meals and returned to the table. I'd say we were sitting for no more than sixty seconds before the boomerang buzzer went off and we were called back to collect our meals - they pump these things out damn fast. I honestly thing this was the fastest order-to-arrival time we've ever seen.

There she is. No salad, but more on that later. The schnitzel was, as you'd expect, processed to high hell, basically an oversized frozen chicken nugget - and the crumbs were actually thicker than the chicken in most places.

You know what? If they just had owned it, served a small bit of chicken with conservative crumbs and said "hey, its $4.50, what do you expect?" I probably would have been more forgiving, but with the shocking excess of crumbs it really feels like they're trying to cover it up. Although I suppose they have no control over the crumbing as these were clearly not house made parmas.

There was clearly enough room on the plate to not stack the parma on top of the chips, we quickly rescued them so you could get a clearer view of what $4.50 buys -

The toppings actually weren't as terrible as the schnitzel. The lack of napoli was almost criminal but I was surprised to see that the parma actually included a slice of ham - that's normally the first thing to do when a parma decided to appeal to the budget crowd.

There was plenty of cheese for such a small parma and it remained un-rubbery the entire meal. Sure it all came out of a package, but I was pleasantly surprised - The toppings weren't great, but they were nowhere near as offensive as what I was expecting.

The pub chips were pretty standard, small serving of pub chips that were just begging for a little salt, there was a pretty comprehensive condiment bar by the food service area (tomato, BBQ, chilli, tobasco and HP sauces all available) yet I couldn't for the life of my find any salt & pepper shakers, which is what these fries desperately needed. But, for a tiny serving of unseasoned chips they were cooked rather competently.

Now, the salad - When I approached the food service window to place our order I was met with this sign...

So its an extra $2 to add a salad, which doesn't seem too bad, until you consider that $2 is 45 percent of the total purchase price of the parma - that seems a little excessive to me, especially when I could see the pre-made salad pots sitting to the left of the service window, unrefrigerated and looking quite small and sad - We saved our cash, all forwent getting a salad with our parmas and are invoking the "You don't win friends with salad" rule for this review.

The value is the big question isn't it! And its hard to argue that this parma is very easy on the wallet. My total bill for dinner at Bridies for two parmas, a pint of draught, a pot of draught and a pot of coke came out to just under $26 all up. That is less than what a single parma cost us last week.

The Salad Rule being invoked means that the value of the parma takes a hit - and can you put a price on giving away your personal information for incessant promotional info after the necessary sign up to the "parma club?". I'd probably only recommend this parma if you were on your last few bucks and really needed a parma fix, I'm looking at you, starving Uni students. Oh look, I just got a text message from Bridies. No, really...

Expecting a quality parma for $4.50 is like jumping into a lion's cage and being surprised when you're mauled by a lion. You're stupid to think the inevitable isn't going to happen - The $4.50 parma at Bridies however is like jumping into a lion's cage and finding that the lion administers a local anaesthetic before tearing you limb from limb. Sure, it sucks - but it's slightly not as bad as you were expecting.

[pros]

• It's only $4.50

[/pros][cons]

• Annoying sign-up process to "qualify" for the price
• Think of the most processed schnitzel you can imagine. Now double it.

[/cons]

Parma - 1.67

Chips - 1.67

Salad - "You don't win friends with salad" rule invoked.

Value - 7

Total - 3.40

The search continues...

Attempt #211 - 'Woolshed Pub'

[info]When? - 5th of February, 2015

Where? Shed 9,T18/161 Harbour Esplanade, Docklands

Price? - $26, with a $22 Tuesday parma night (see review)

Website? - http://www.woolshedpub.com

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Matt, Nikki, Tony[/info]

If you're ever walking out of a game of footy at Etihad stadium and think to yourself "I want to have a beer in a massive warehouse", then the Woolshed Pub is the spot for you. Situated around the back of the stadium, between Etihad and the water, lies the Woolshed Pub, and (despite being a massive warehouse) is actually a really well put together spot.

There's a lot of different vibes at The Woolshed. To one side there is an outdoor area that provides stunning views of the bay and Bolte Bridge, perfect for sippers on a summers evening. The opposing side also has tables - minus the view but with a more "beer garden-y" feel. Inside and to the left there is a cosy, very flash looking bistro and to the right is the main event - the wide open, high roofed spaces of the main pub floor. It'd have to be damn busy for this place to feel packed, plenty of room to move with an impressive bar in the middle of everything I just mentioned. All up I was very impressed with this pub's fitout, they've put a lot of work into it, and it shows.

But how was the food? Rather than head into the bistro we opted to grab a table in the main bar - It was a perfect night to eat on the water, but unfortunately that was taken by a private function the night we visited. We took our seats, scoped the menu...

... and placed our orders.

As for beverages to accompany our meal? There are a decent selection of taps -

And things get a little more creative when you head to the bottled stuff. Nothing out of this world (the craft beer enthusiasts may go a little wanting) but definitely a big enough selection to wet any whistle.

I bought a pint when I ordered the meal and about 3/4 of the way through our parmas arrived at the table -

When it first hit the table the schnitzel looked quite small, very small even, but once I cut into it I realised just how thick this beast was - well over an inch in some places, this was pure chicken breast, no processed crap here. The shape of the parmas varied greatly from plate to plate, but all staying relatively the same size.

Very conservatively crumbed in what looked like a in-house made crumb mixture with a lot of herbs and a strong lemon flavour (I'm guessing either lemongrass or straight lemon juice). In the end the schnitzel was still a tad to small for my liking (we'll get to that later), but much more filling than I expected when I first laid eyes on it.

The toppings were an interesting mix. The pancetta was absolutely fantastic (I hate to use this term, but it was the hero of the dish) If you like the salty punch of pancetta then you will love this parma.

The napoli was plentiful and tasty, and if there was more cheese on the parma it would have struck a perfect balance - Unfortunately cheese was the only thing this parma lacked, there was barely a dusting of cheese on top and it really hurt this meal, as I said it caused the napoli to dominate this dish far too strongly, and really highlighted a tomato pastey character that would have remained unnoticed had there been more cheese.

I've said it time and time again, I'm not a fan of fries with my parma. This prejudice was tackled recently when we discovered The Wolf and I, where I discovered that "Maccas chips" could actually be done well, and the Woolshed is another pub that is slowly turning around my opinion. Yes they were fries, but these fries were done well. Served piping hot, in a decent serving and very well salted (with tomato sauce supplied on request). Yes, they were just maccas fries, but these were just about as good as they get.

The salad was a divisive one. I like my salad drenched in dressing, others like their salads crisp and able to breathe. The salad at the Woolshed was definitely the former, so I loved it. Very basic garden salad of lettuce and onion, absolutely swimming in dressing. I liked it, others didn't ... it depends on your opinion (if you care about salads at all).

This is where things are gonna take a turn for the worse in this review. Value. I placed my order for 2 parmas (not both for me, buying for Reviewer Nikki as well) and a pint of Boags ... $63 - $26 each for the parmas. Thats a pricey meatball, especially following last week's extremely good value for money parmas. Like I said this parma was bigger than I expected, but nowhere near Twenty-six-dollars-big. I'm not a tightarse but for that price I expect a top 10 parma ... yes the pancetta was delicious, and that can get expensive, but this just wasn't worth the money.

Saying that, there is a $22 parma n' pot night on Tuesdays. This is a much more reasonable price and I'd be more than happy to pay that for what we got, hell I'd even recommend it if you're in the area on a Tuesday, but other than that its just not worth the ticket price.

The Woolshed was a tough parma to judge. A lot of things went wrong with this dish, yet it wound up being quite an enjoyable meal. I am on the fence as to whether I'd give it my "seal of approval" though. It's a tough one, I think I'm gonna stick to my earlier sentiment of "Yes, if its on a Tuesday" with a clause of "and make sure the weather is nice, because that's a great view as well" ... It doesn't quite roll off the tongue when it comes to sign-off lines, but it'll do.

[pros]

• Thick, juicy chicken breast
• Fries were good (for fries)
• Pancetta was full of flavour

[/pros][cons]

• Minimal cheese
• Expensive

[/cons]

Parma - 7.08

Chips - 5.90

Salad - 5.60

Value - 3.50

Total - 5.83

The search continues...

Attempt #210 - 'Harts Victoria Hotel'

[info]When? - 29th of January, 2015

Where? 43 Victoria St. Footscray

Price? - $19 for standard, $14 for half-parma, novelties vary (see review)

Website? - None that I could find, other than their Facebook Page

Reviewers – Cale, Fridge, Hayden, Kylie, Lee, Nikki, Shanan, Stefo, Tony[/info]

 ** EDIT - 18/2/15 - I'VE CONFIRMED THAT THE PARMA NIGHT SPECIAL IS A WEDNESDAY NIGHT THING, WITH THE SPECIALS BOARD ROTATING TO OTHER STUFF ON OTHER NIGHTS OF THE WEEK - HOW WE MANAGED TO GET PARMA SPECIALS ON THURSDAY IS A MYSTERY TO ME - MUST'VE BEEN A FLUKE! SO KEEP THAT IN MIND WHEN READING THE FOLLOWING REVIEW... ENJOY!

I'm still not sure what to call this pub. Their Facebook calls it Harts Hotel, Google maps calls it Victoria Hotel, Urbanspoon calls it Victoria Harts Hotel and their are signs up on the building itself that call it Harts, Victoria and "Harts Victoria Hotel" ... However when I called to book the table on Thursday afternoon the lady who answered the phone called it Harts Victoria Hotel, so that's what I'm sticking with (plus it sounds like "Hearts Victoria", and I also heart Victoria).

Walking into the Harts Vic is like stepping back in time. An extremely spacious public bar greeted us with all the staples of a pub I'd love to call home. Exposed brick, old school wood panelling, so-ugly-its-awesome patterned carpet. It feels like a country pub that hasn't changed in decades, yet its tucked away in the middle of Footscray.

Beer options are pretty basic, but enough to get the job done. If you're after anything much fancier than a Carlton Draught then you're in the wrong pub.

Once the crew arrived we moved through the public bar into the bistro, which was already bustling with patrons tucking in to some great looking meals ... I had a good feeling about this place.

We checked the menu...

Spied the specials board...

And placed our orders. A few at the table took advantage of the Aussie and Mexican specials, I stuck with the standard. Also worth noting that we were served bake-at-home bread rolls with tatura butter after we ordered - Have I mentioned in the past how much I love this? If not, I love this.

I wasn't sure what to expect when we ordered these parmas, I guess the fact that a half-serve parma was even on the menu was a clue that we were in for something mammoth.

After polishing off our rolls and a couple of cheeky games at the candy machine in the public bar, our parmas started to file out of the kitchen. Good lord.

First up was the standard -

Second was the Mexican (Salami, jalapenos, salsa and guacamole)

and the Aussie (egg, bacon & BBQ sauce)

These things were huge. I was a little worried that a parma this big, at the price would have to be processed crap - but no, real, unprocessed chicken. The chicken wasn't overly thick, but at the sheer size of this meal it didn't need to be. The crumbs were herbed and not too thick - my only criticism would be that the crumbs were a little soggy, detracting from the rest of the dish - but thats a minor complaint.

The toppings were applied liberally. To be honest I was a little jealous that I didn't go with the Mexican or the Aussie as they both phenomenal (just look at those pictures up there) The three cheese blend used on mine was damn tasty, a perfect mix of creamy and crunchy. The napoli was a little lost in the shuffle but it was there .

One gripe I had was that it didn't come with ham, which normally I would be okay with, but the Aussie and Mexican parmas came with bacon and salami respectively and were both cheaper than the standard - I understand that they're on the specials board, but a slice of ham chucked my way would have finished this parma off perfectly.

Chips were pretty good. Chunky, well seasoned  and well cooked. If the parma wasn't so big that I was so full it hurt to move for hours afterwards then I'd say that the serving was a little small, but I honestly couldn't have eaten another bite if I tried.

The salad, like the parma, was massive. Garden salad stuffed with onion, carrot, cucumber and tomato. Everything was fresh and it accompanied the dish quite nicely, although I would have loved a little more dressing as it got a little dry in parts.

The value of this parma is off the charts, especially for the special's board parmas, $15 for the Aussie, $16 for the regular is just impossible to beat (and we got bake at home rolls as well!) - I would call that cheap for a standard sized parma, but that price for the behemoth we were served? Phenomenal. If you're not a big eater I'd recommend starting on the half-serve. They call it a half serve but I'm pretty sure its bigger than 75 percent of the parmas we have tried - for only $14 you can't go wrong.

Now I don't really have a spot for this, so I want to make special mention of the staff at Harts Victoria Hotel - In over 200 parma attempts I don't think we've ever had a friendlier group of people take care of us. They were warm, attentive, went above and beyond to make sure we were okay and more than happy to have a chat - A fantastic group of people running a fantastic pub.

I'll be back to the Harts Victoria Hotel, and you should check it out as well. It's a meal that any parma lover would enjoy at an old-school down to earth Aussie pub (a dying breed these days). I can't guarantee how long those novelty parmas will be on the specials board so better get down there quick before they're gone! You won't regret it.

[pros]

• Massive
• Amazing value
• Free bake at home rolls
• Amazingly friendly and welcoming staff

[/pros][cons]

• Crumbs were a bit soggy

[/cons]

Parma - 8.36

Chips - 6.61

Salad - 6.66

Value -  9.50

Total - 7.90

The search continues...

Attempt #209 - 'The Alehouse Project'

 

[info]When? - 22nd of January, 2015

Where? 98 - 100 Lygon St, Brunswick

Price? - $19

Website? - http://www.thealehouseproject.com.au/

Reviewers – Fridge, Lee, Nikki, Shanan, Stefo, Tony[/info]

Let me start out this review by saying that I love the Alehouse Project. When it comes to craft beer in Melbourne I think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who does it better. Which is why, when I saw this post on Instagram last week -

I jumped on the chance to check it out, seemed like a perfectly fitting parma to kick off 2015.

If you're a fan of beer then you've no doubt already heard about the Alehouse Project, but in case you've been living under a rock, this is a pub with twelve taps of continuously rotating microbrewery beers. Every time you visit there's something new to try and I've yet to sample a beer I didn't like.

This week in particular the Young Henry "Stupid Sexy Flanders" cherry flanders ale was absolutely fantastic - couldn't recommend it more highly, absolutely delicious beer (and probably the best name for a beer I've ever heard).

Feels like I'm wearing nothin' at all... nothin' at all... nothin' at all!

A new discovery last night was the beer garden, way down the back, past the couches and tabletop arcade table, take a right and there is a quaint little spot in the sun, its cosy but comfy, perfect for a summer weekend arvo sesh.

Anyway - I digress. On to the parma.

We arrived, spied the menu...

and placed our orders. It was relatively early on a Thursday evening so the pub was pretty quiet, didn't take long at all for the food to arrive.

Then it did.

The schnitzel wasn't hard to see, thats for sure (more on that later). When it first fell to the table I thought "Uh oh, this is processed shit" But I was surprised to find real chicken under the relatively thin crumbs.

Unfortunately thats about everything positive I've got to say about this parma, and you don't know how much it pains me to write this review as I really like this pub - but it just wasn't good.

The chicken was dry, and there was a pretty noticeable black border around one side of my schnitz. Chicken size was inconsistent around the table, with the one pictured being one of the bigger ones.

There was so much nudity on display here I thought we had accidentally wandered into Schnitz n' Tits. Only 3 quarters of the chicken had toppings on it (thats being generous), and the toppings themselves just weren't good. The napoli was straight from a can, the cheese was like rubber and the ham ... actually the ham was okay, carried a decent flavour.

While it was real chicken underneath the toppings every element of the dish was completely tasteless. We took to loading it up with salt, pepper and tomato sauce in an attempt to bring it back to life, which helped a little, but shouldn't be necessary.

When the menu said "fries" I was expecting shoestring fries (aka. Maccas chips), So I was pleasantly surprised when a side of proper, thick cut chips accompanied my chicken. It was a relatively small serving and they were in desperate need of some salt, but they were decent. Maybe a little undercooked but not criminally so.

The "salad" was just some lettuce leaves tossed in oil, nothing to write home about but it was relatively enjoyable. Since our visit to The Wolf & I my eyes have been opened to the possibility of a good simple salad. Now the Alehouse was nowhere near the Wolf's standard, but I didn't dismiss it as quickly as I once would've.

In this day & age I class anything under $20 as pretty reasonably priced, this one came in at $19, which isn't bad, but when compared to what we actually received it is a bit steep. If this parma was $10 - $15 with a pot of craft beer thrown in I'd be more forgiving, but full price with no freebies for that? Not great.

I really did not enjoy writing the review this week. I love the Alehouse Project and urge you to check it out if you haven't yet.

At the time of writing this the parma has been on the menu for 9 days. It's still a baby, plenty of time for retooling.

If anyone from The Alehouse is reading this, first of all, I'm sorry. Secondly, you've got a good foundation with the chicken you're using. if you upgrade your napoli to something a little less tomato-pastey, make sure you cover the schnitzel in all of the toppings (cheese to the edge!) and season your chips before putting them on the plate then you're on the way to having something decent.

I'm more than happy to come back for a re-review if things improve. Until then, I'll just stick to the beers.

[pros]

• Amazing craft beer pub - possibly Melbourne's best.

[/pros][cons]

• Tomato paste napoli
• Gratuitous schnitzel nudity
• Burnt schnitzel
• Unseasoned chips

[/cons]

Parma - 4.25

Chips - 3.67

Salad - 3.50

Value - 4.25

Total - 3.98

The search continues...